It's been quite a ride.

Everything.

2012-01-26T03:43:00.001+08:00

It's magical, these past 2 months. Never would I thought anything would come of it but I'm wrong.

You've shown me love like no one else has, you take me the way I am, not judging me the slightest bit for my past, you make me feel appreciated, you give me hope that there is love for someone like me. 2 months is not really a long time, but we behave like couples who have been together for months or years. Things between us moved at the speed of light, that can be both a good and a bad thing but I guess things happen the way they were supposed to be, yes? Amazing, it really is.

I dare say I've never loved someone as much as I have with you and that is a scary thing. The more we love, the more we're gonna get hurt. To say that things have been smooth sailing and all rainbows will be unrealistic cause which relationship doesn't go through hard times? All I hope for is for us to brave through the tough times together cause only then will our bond be tested and I strongly believe we have so much in us to overcome whatever that comes our way. Wishful thinking or not, I just have that faith in us.

Situation may not be the best for us right now, I know, but two is better than one. We have a whole lot ahead of us but let's figure it out, you and I. There may be a lot of uncertainties about the future but what's for certain is that I am yours and I really do hope you're mine too. I am not one who gives up in love easily once I'm in it. I give all that I can to it, as long as I believe that there's a reason to fight for it, I will.

Having been single for so long and this being my first real relationship, I know I've got lots to learn. I may not do things right now and then, I may not know the standard protocols of being in a relationship but I do hope you'll guide me along. All I know is that I've got so much love to give and it's all for you.

I am definitely here to stay, I know we're too good to pass out on. There are a lot more about each other that we've yet to discover so let's take this journey together and be the hand that catches whenever one of us falls.

2011-11-15T00:00:00.001+08:00

Burnt in one hand, lighting the fire in another.

Well, I choose to believe that when one chapter closes for you, it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world for you. It simply means that you've been put through that chapter for you to gain valuable insights, lessons and experiences to get you through in life. And it also means that there's something better waiting for you, just that it's not the time yet for you to discover them but when you do eventually find it, it'll be worth the damn wait.

As for me, one chapter of my life has closed its doors and i've definitely gained some pretry good experiences from it. So right now all i'm doing is going on with life as per normal and wait for that great thing that awaits me. I might even be close to finding it but i shall not put my hopeS a single bit. I've known better than to put my hopes in any form of situation. Been through that enough to know the consequences it can bring me. I'm definitely happy where I am right now and I'm just going with flow. Whatever happens, happens. Que sera sera or so as they say.

For the chapter that has closed, I definitely do not feel proud doing what I did but I guess there are just some things you can't avoid and it will happen sooner or later. I'm glad I met you and for the times spent but alas we were not meant to be. I really hope for better things for you, for you to get what you deserve cause i know that i am not all that and neither are you for me.

And as for you, let's see how this story unravels itself.

1 year on

2011-10-16T11:59:00.001+08:00

Exactly a year has passed since you left us and never a day has passed without me missing you. You're always in our thoughts and prayers and that's where you still live, through us and in us. Memories with you are still vivid in my mind and how I wish you're still here for me to create new memories but it's impossible.

Somehow I always thought that you'll be with me forever, even until I'm
Old, how silly of me. But how I wish to see you in your room whenever I come over, how I wish Raya will be same as they were when you were around, how I wish how I wish.. But they're just wishes and fact is you're gone. I still haven't somehow really accepted that, even till now. And I need to learn to truly move on and accept the fact that I can never see you again.

I love you Nenek. And I miss you, so so much.

Al-fatiha.

2011-10-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

It's only been about 3 months plus and it's already proving to not be an easy task maintaining this thing we have. Of course I would want to spend my future with you, even though how we're gonna do that, but right now we got a lot to work out. For now, understanding your work and your behaviour is the one thing that I really gotta do cause I'm just afraid that our personalities just don't match. Do I love you? Definitely, and for some strange reason, I see a future with you. I don't know if it's just wishful thinking on my part or if I really do see it but for what it's worth, I love the feeling I get when we talk.
The one thing I appreciate is that you're able to accept me as I am and love me for who I am. It's not easy to get that, for me especially.

Burn baby burn.

Don't make me an island

2011-09-20T06:44:00.001+08:00

Hey you, I miss you, very much so. But lately I've been having doubts about us. I realise that the way we work is very different, you're more of the independent kind while I'm on the clingy side.
Yes, I need to learn to not be so clingy but I don't know if I'm learning or just tolerating. Cause if it's just tolerating with the way you are, I will reach my limit soon and that'll definitely be unpleasant.

I need my partner to be someone I can share everything with, from my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets to the most random of things but somehow with you I feel like there's a barrier. I don't know if it's the distance or it's just our personalities clashing. I'd sacrifice my sleep to talk to you, anytime, but you on the other hand, prioritize your sleep too much at times.

I'm starting to distance myself from you, starting to not give my all and I guess you can sense that. I love you, yes I do, but that isn't enough to make things work. I can't be the one giving in to your needs all the time, I need you to show me that you feel that "us" is worth it.

Having been on my own for far too long made me put a huge metal steel wall up and once someone comes in and drills a bit of that wall, I'd cover it back up immediately so as to prevent myself from getting hurt. That's my own defense mechanism but I believe it won't do me any good in the long run. If I keep on pushing people away, keep on being afraid of getting hurt, how will I learn to love truly? But then again, like my friend once said, when the right one comes, things will work out eventually. I guess there is some truth in that. If he is the one for you, things will fall into place, no matter what.

The distance have made me not want to give my all, cause anything can happen. You with your life over there, and me, with mine over here. But that distance can be brought closer with constant quality communication and that's one part that we're lacking in. How do we achieve that if sleep gets in the way all the time?

I envy my friends who receive ample attention from their better halves and I wish you could be like them but I know I shouldn't compare. But i can't help it, I'm a girl who needs to be shown that she is cared for, a girl who needs the attention from the one that matters. If you can't give me the kind of attention I need, it's the same as me being friends with you, cause then you'll be no different.

After saying all that, I still want this to work out. I'm still putting my faith in this, just that I'm going at a very slow pace. Do know that my heart is with you, but I just need you to show me that you are taking good care of my heart cause if not, I'm gonna take my heart back and keep it with me.

And so I breathe

2011-09-19T03:57:00.001+08:00

Wow, it's been a long while since my last blog post. Now that I've the app for Blogger, I really hope I can start my blogging again. I've missed this, and I've gotten lazy to type my thoughts on my laptop. Just cause I don't use it as much anymore.

So what's the update since my last post? I've gotten a job, past the 1 year mark, loving the job and the place, moved house from 474 to 224, still missing the old place but loving the new place, found and lost a special someone in a short while, been to a few places, phuket, Gold Coast and Redang, had a great 22nd and that's about it. I'm pretty sure there's more but can't expect me to put it all in words for almost a year worth of hiatus right?
Other than that, things are about the same. Family's all good, still friends with most of them, got close and drifted apart from some.

Brain's a little rusty, been on holiday from here for way too long. Gotta get my brain back in focus and gotta start putting my thoughts into words again.

Hoping that my laziness won't kick in too often.

Oh yes, Salam Eid 2011!

2010-10-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Hjh Aminah Ahmad
left us on 16102010
Al-Fatihah

It came as a shock to me, to get a rude awakening from my slumber with the news that my grandmother has passed away. It took me a few minutes to register and to somehow digest the fact that she's no longer with us. As I quickly took a shower, that's where it dawned on me that she really is gone. The first drops of tears came down swiftly, as my heartbeat grew faster and a whole bucket of emotions overwhelmed me.

The one woman who has been the pillar of strength and backbone for my family is gone. The one woman who held us all together, giving us a purpose and who was responsible for the harmony and unity that the Haji Ahmad family has is gone. I just can't seem to accept the fact that my grandmother, who has been there for me all my life has passed on. And I guess what makes it harder is the fact that I wasn't there with her during her last breath. I know we can't decide how fate works but I'm just angry with myself for not being there with her. I should stop beating myself up for that and instead offer her prayers, I'm doing my best to not be angry with myself anymore.

Nenek, thank you for taking care of me when I was much younger. Actually, you never stopped taking care of me, when I was still a few days old to when I'm old enough. From staying at the unit right beside yours, where I would be at your place every single day, to during primary school days when I would be at your place almost every single day after school, to secondary school days when I would be at your place most of the time and to my teenage years, before you got ill, you would still take care of me whenever I was there, how during Raya you would always give me the most amount of money as compared to the other grandchildren. How am I not to miss someone so great like you?
Thank you for providing food for me, for giving me place to rest, for your undivided love and attention, for always lending your hand whenever I had bruises or injuries or ache, they always seemed to work magically and everything will almost instantly heal, thank you for guiding me and doing your best to teach me the right from the wrong, thank you for the wise, patient and kind words that you always had to offer and thank you for loving my mother the way you did because she was the closest to you and I can see the resemblance in both of you.

I've always wanted to take care of you the way you took care of me, even when you were hit by stroke and when I was at the hospital almost every day, that was nothing compared to the amount of time and effort you put in all these years in raising me up.
To let you see me getting married, having children, to see you holding my children, your grandchildren have been my lifelong wish but I know that will never happen now. But I do hope, and I do know, that when the day comes, you will be with me.

At times I just want to make myself believe that you'll still be there when I enter your room but reality slaps so hard each time I step inside. But I am thankful that I got the chance to help in cleaning you up, during your final bath, as well as during the "kafan" process and I'm also thankful that I participated in the prayers at Masjid Kassim. Only God knows how hard it was for me to pull myself back so as not to let my tears drop on your face during the last time I got to kiss your face. I had to be strong for myself as well as for my mother. As much as this is a huge loss for me, I can only imagine how it must be for my mother.

It has been 5 days now and every single day I've been battling with my inner emotions. One hand it'll say that you are still there but the other hand will be slapping myself each time I think that way. I don't want and can't fully accept the fact you're no longer with us but I know I have to so that it'll be easier for you. I don't want to make it any difficult for you because you don't deserve all that. You deserve only the best and you surely deserve a spot in heaven, with the likes of angels like you.

Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Al-Fatihah.

For anyone who happens to be reading this, do offer some prayers or the Al-Fatihah for my late grandmother. Thank you.

Ca rindu nenek, ca sayang nenek.

2010-05-19T02:00:00.000+08:00

The first half of 2010 will come soon and I'm still as jobless as ever. Resume after resume, interview after interview and still zilch. If only people get paid to sleep, I guess I'll be one of the richest 21 year olds ever. Heh, but that doesn't happen and I can only continue to dream.

A lot of things has happened since the last time I updated. The main highlight gotta be my turning of age. HAH! Finally, 21, the golden age, the age to freedom, the age with the golden key yada yada yada. I mean turning 21 has always been a huge deal for me until I actually turn 21. I realise not much has changed, except for the responsibilities of being an adult I guess? Paying back of school fees to my mum, finding a job, being financially stabled, being matured and wiser but guess what? I've not accomplished any of that, sadly. The celebrations part were the highlight, as usual. The ULEs plus Fahmy had a surprise party for me at one of the hotels, it wasn't a grand hotel but it felt grand to me cause I had the people who mattered the most with me, except for Asri, he couldn't make it. And the thing that really touched me was that, Fahmy and Firah were the ones who went all out with the planning and all. Firah I can understand, she's been my closest friend since Secondary 1. But Fahmy? The one I've known for the shortest period of time as compared to the rest, he put in so much effort for the party and I was really touched. It goes to show we've built quite a strong bond just within the few months of knowing each other. And I must say the gift that Betz gave me did blow me away. 21 small items that reminded me of him and one of my favourite perfumes. That, and a noticeboard with our photos and a hugeass poster of myself to remind myself that I can always be my own start. Thank you Fahmy, thank you Firah, thank you Betz, thank you Yannah, thank you Ajan, thank you Naz, thank you Ari and how I wish Asri and Ash were there as well.

And I must say I've really learnt quite a lot within the past couple of months. With family and friends, I guess no matter how long or how short we've been there for each other, there will always be new things that we'll learn about each other each time. And whether we want to judge them for who they are, what they did or did not, I guess it's not fair cause I believe they have their own reasons, we can't expect them to react or do things the way we would. If everyone were to do the same thing, react the same way, then where's the individuality?

Having different groups of friends really opens up my eyes to a lot of things. For example, within the ULEs there's already a wide range of personalities due to the number and I love each one of them for who they are. For the "cage buddies", even though there's only like 5 or 6 of us, there's still a stark difference in each of our personalities and characteristics and I'm really thankful that I got the opportunity to be close to them recently, eventhough I've known most of them since secondary school. Whenever there's any issues within the group, for sure there will be contrasting opinions and it's really interesting to observe and think about why people think and act the way they do.

Before this I was living in the "cave", so they say, cause I didn't know about a lot of stuff that has been happening within the bigger group and I really don't regret being in that "cave" cause it makes things a lot easier and I don't have to act or pretend not to know or think about how I should act when I see him, her, them or whoever. But I guess even after knowing things, I'll still be the one hanging in the middle cause I rather not take sides cause I can foresee things can get ugly if I do, if anyone does actually. Being in a group like theirs, one has to know how to communicate with the other, how to still make jokes at each other without offending the other but I guess the most important lesson I've learnt this past few months is really choosing the people you can really trust. I guess in a way I can trust them all but there are just certain things only a few are supposed to know and not the rest.

Having friends like the ULEs and "cage buddies" really showed me the different kinds of friendship one can foster, within yourself and another friend, and the kind of friendship the whole group share. No matter what flaws each one may have, I appreciate and treasure them all, their friendship and their love, and that I don't wanna lose them.

When I move out from this house, in the later part of the year, I know it's gonna be difficult for me to adapt cause here I've got my "cage buddies" whom I can always count on and I know I'm gonna have withdrawal symptoms. Thinking about moving out from here, from this estate can just bring me to tears. This is where, I grew up, for the more important parts of my growing years that is. From a child to a tween to being a teenager. This home holds so much memories, this estate holds even more. The secondary school I went to, the people I've made friends with, the people I've grown to be comfortable with and trust, they're all within reach from my current place, merely a 5 minutes walk. And I haven't lived in other estates but I feel this is one of the best, the most accessible, convenient and safe one.

Ah damn, I shall not think about moving out for now. I shall save that when the day comes nearer.

2010-01-20T05:05:00.002+08:00

Almost 3 weeks into the new year and what am I doing? Jobless, still. The search for a job has been fruitless but I shall not give up. As for now, I just need to think of my priorities. What I really wanna do at this point of my life.

The Langkawi trip was certainly a good getaway and it gave me my perfect peaceful ending to the year. I'm ready for another trip but before that, I need to get a job.

You know what, I shall update at another time when I'm in the mood to do so. Heh.

And I'll never be able to compete, not that I want to in the first place but I know I'll never be 1st place.

It's always been 2nd to last.

But nevertheless, I'm grateful.

2009-12-08T01:02:00.003+08:00

So it has been about 4 months since my last post. And trust me, a lot has happened within that 4 months. Fasting month, Hari Raya Aidiladha, getting a new job, getting new friends, almost lost a friend, got back that friend, losing another friend, learnt so much in that 4 months, finally understanding how tough it's like to earn your own money, discovering more about yourself, your likes and dislike, how strong you are to handle certain issues, learning what or who is worth it keeping in your life.

If I were to trace back every incident that has happened, it would be too much and my brain would burst. Recently it always seems to be the case of things happening too damn fast. Be it with friends, myself, friends and friends or whoever.

It's already the last month of the year and honestly, I can't wait for 2010 to come. I want it to be a new year with new dreams with new achievements. 2009 has been a neither here nor there year, in my opinion. But definitely, like any other years, so many lessons have been learnt. There wasn't much significant happenings in the year other than graduating and getting a full time job but I guess it's the little things that happen along the way that really mattered.

All these while, I've realised that I don't really have an avenue to pour out my true feelings or emotions to. I do have friends that I can tell almost everything to but there are just some things that you can't really tell anyone but you just need to let it off your chest. And I know this blog will definitely not be the best place for me to do so. So I guess it's either I start a diary but I get tired of writing after awhile, or I start another private blog just for myself and my emotions. It's unhealthy to pent up your feelings too much cause it will just eat you up. And I can safely say it's eating me up, slowly but surely.

The boys are all in NS now, one in OCS, one as a medic, one in ATEc, one's gonna POP real soon, like today. Rain is still in his SPDS, Ari's still working at Starbucks, Firah's still a staff nurse, Yannah's still at SOH, Ajan still with ICA. The good old group. Things have somehow changed here and there but I really do hope no major changes will happen. I want to be closely connected each one of them like how we were.

Gaining new friends doesn't mean I forget my old ones.

But it's really a bonus when you can be really comfortable with a friend you've just known, not shy or awkward to be yourself around them, talk to them about almost everything and anything, and I really like that. I hope it'll be a strong friendship, just like how I hope my friendship with those that really matters to me will be.

Though we might not meet up nor contact that often, it doesn't mean I've forgotten or not care about you anymore. Things change, situation play a huge part but I hope when we do meet, it'll feel like nothing has changed, that we'll still feel as comfortable around each other as we were.

And I hope 2010 will put some light into my non-existant love life. Ahh, I shall leave that to a more personal avenue.

For true happiness, for family, for friends, for you, for her, for him, for me.

And to the 2 boys of the now defunct RandomFour,

Happy 21st Birthday Khair Firdaus! I've already said whatever I wanna say in my text to you so yeah.. (:

And POP Ohhhh to Asriiiii!

Shit happens. But life doesn't just go on without us putting in effort to deal with it and we have to learn to not be foolish enough to let the same shit happen again.

2009-08-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

It's already the month of August, the last 4 months left for 2009. How time flies, no kidding.

And in about 3 weeks time, fasting month will start, can't wait for that!

A birthday shoutout to Yannah Mak. Actually, a belated birthday shoutout, her birthday was on 1st August. Hehe. Happy 21st Birthday Yannahhhh! DAH TUA AH KAU SO PLEASE GROW UP EH TAKMO MACAM BUDAK BUDAK LAGI!

Haha.

Despite that, you know I do love you and that you're a very special person to me. I'm glad our friendship has grown this close and I'm glad you're one of the people I know I can rely on whenever something happens, be it good or bad. You've always been there for others and you've always done your best to do whatever you can to help your friends and we all love you for that. Here's to a stronger bond and more memories to be created. And I hope your 21st will be a very special one for you, filled with love, happiness and blessings.

Even though you have your menopause mood sometimes, it's okay I understand, all mothers go through that. HEHEHE.

Sayang kau lah yannah!

I'm back working at MediaCorp Publishing, yeah the same place I had my SVP last year. There are still some people that I know, and of course new faces as well. The place and system has changed quite a bit. The workload has been manageable so far. I'll have to give my best for this job, no room for stupid and careless mistakes, time to enter the working world where everything is not sugar coated anymore, where it's all harsh and in your face and when it's time for you to show the rest what you're made and capable of. Good luck to me for that.

And I'm about to make one of the biggest decision in life, tomorrow.

And oh, I got to meet all 3 Tekong botak boys + my not so botak cumi on Saturday night + Ari. If only Rain could have joined, it would have been a complete botak boys night out. Heh. And somehow I can already start to feel the change when it is Asri's turn to enlist in September, then all of my boys will be in the Army, no more late night outs with them. At least for now there's still hope to call Asri if I need a late night out but when he goes in, no more.

Like what he said " Life is constantly changing ", so I shouldn't be sad about that, but instead I should embrace the change and somehow make the most of it one way or another.

It's time for a ULE plus/and RandomFour outing before the 3 boys POP and before Asri gets enlisted, let's make that an iftar session okay people?

And it's such a waste I didn't get to join Eeqa, Heira and Aten at Arab St on Saturday cause it was kinda last minute and I was going out with my mum. La Familia needs a meet up session, badly.

2009-07-18T03:11:00.008+08:00

Bandung trip was fine, wished we could have gone to more places but I guess it was not bad for a four days trip. It reminded me of Siem Reap a little, I guess the people and the environment did it. Loved Bandung for its weather, windy and cool, if only Singapore had that kind of weather, we'll all be donning cool jackets yo. Haha.

Was totally mesmerized by the ambience and scenery we got to see at Kampung Daun and Stone Cafe respectively. Kampung Daun was a kampung like setting, where each family or group had their own hut to eat at, and we could choose where we wanted to seat. Ours was beside the waterfall so it was really cool and serene. But the food got cold quite fast, I think must be the weather and the distance from the kitchen to our hut lah. The whole place was set up like a kampung. With street vendors selling old school titbits, love it.

Stone Cafe was situated on top of a hill so we got to see the whole of Bandung lit up below us. Amazing view, no doubt. Food was better than Kampung Daun's. We celebrated Mum's birthday there and the staff there were really great. Sang my mum a loud "Happy Birthday" with a cake as well. And they had a band playing, and they played some great songs. How I wish everyday was like that. A great view spread out in front of you, just relaxing in the breeze and not having to worry about all the ongoings.

Shopping was madness over there, especially at Pasar Baru. They put the kains at Arab St to shame. Heaps and heaps of gorgeous textiles, with prices way cheaper than those here. I regretted buying my Raya stuffs in Singapore, wish I knew bout Pasar Baru way earlier so I could do my Raya shopping there. But it's okay, I had to get myself at least one suit for myself and that I did.

Paris Van Java won me over. How I realllllyyyy wished I could just chill at one of the many cafes and restaurants with friends and just chilling out. I really, really, really wanna go there again just for that. Haha.

I got food poisoning and fever on the last day of the trip. But I was lucky enough it wasn't that bad when I was still in Bandung. It got worse when I reached home. Temperature of 38.5 with major diarrhoea. Countless trips to the toilet, count it as a good way to cleanse out all the toxins. Haha. And I guess I did lose some fats in the process. Eating just a piece of bread, biscuits and plain porridge the entire time and losing that and so much more through my many trips to the toilet. My ass got really sore, no kidding. But Alhamdulillah, I'm all better now. (:

Had an outing with the Patricks on Thursday to celebrate the two July babies, Atiqah and Firah. It was definitely a fun-filled one. Stomach cramps due to too much laughter. Somehow went round the city and the East-side. Spent some good lovin' time with them.

Anyway,

Happy Birthday to my mum, Atiqah and Firah whose birthdays fall on the 12th, 17th and 20th of July respectively.

The three closest girls in my life just happen to be Cancerians. Heh. (:

Met up with Yannah, Shanana, Ash, Naz and Asri over at Woodlands just now. Finally got to see Ash and Naz in their uniform!!!!!!!! Hehehehe. And it's been such a long time since Shanana actually chilled out with us so it was definitely great. Have yet to meet Ju and Ajan. Have yet to have a full strength ULE outing. It's near to impossible but I hope somehow we'll be able to make it.

Some visuals to brighten up this dull blog. Pictures not in order.

2009-07-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

Bandung tomorrow! Eventhough it's only a four days trip, I'm glad atleast we'll be able to have a getaway.

Anyway, I'm not working at CGH anymore since last week. And I've never been happier, haha. I mean yeah I do miss the people there, but then again, most of the people I miss are no longer working there. I might be starting on another job next week, not such a new job cause I've been with them before. Heh.

DBL O was fun, surprisingly it wasn't the usual crowd I was expecting, which was good. Definitely a better crowd. Been quite some time, and every single bit was memorable and worth it. Heh.

I think I've lost touch with blogging, no kidding. It's hard for me to type down something that's actually read-worthy nowadays. It'll usually be brief updates bout my current life situation and stuffs like that. You don't see photos anymore cause I'm so lazy to upload them on my blog, cause there's facebook. Haha.

Oh yeah, I'm on Twitter now, so you guys can follow me, as if there's anyone interested in that. Haha.

Bandunggggggggggggg!

2009-06-28T01:55:00.003+08:00

And so, the world has lost one of the greatest legend ever. 25/06/09 was the date. You'll forever be remembered by millions across the world. Rest in peace, MJ.

I was really shocked by the news and initially I thought it was just a rumour cause I wanted it to be a rumour, I didn't want it to be true. But that's just how it goes, life and death are all in His hands.

Anyway, my last day at work will be the end of this month, which will be in a few days time. I'm sick and tired of the job, there's no more motivation for me to continue working there, my friends are all usually working on a different shift and I've been dragging my ass to work.

Say goodbye to getting scolded for no reason by stupid and unreasonable visitors who think they own the goddamn hospital, who just can't follow instructions set by the government, thinking it's us who set the rules and regulations and blaming us for not allowing to see their patients, and threatening to hold us responsbile in case anything happens to their patient.

And the thing that irks me is that it's not the big people up there that gets the shit every single day, it's us. All they get are written complaints from visitors and obviously they'll think we're not doing our job. Oh well, I'm leaving all that behind soon. Heh. And it's just a part time job, I don't think we can go anywhere far with the job.

Of course, during the course of my stay there, there have been good memories too. From funny visitors who cracks us up, to the friends I've made there.

I'm looking forward to July. Bandung, cousins' engagement, birthdays. Hehhh.

Another short getaway soon, quality time with Mum for her big day. But the trip is gonna clash with one of my cousins' engagement day, haiyaaaaaa.

Oh, and I miss spending quality time with Mum and Bro. Have not really been able to spend time together, just the three of us lately. We're all busy with our own stuffs. Oh well, hopefully Bandung will make up for it.

K, I need to settle some stuffs. Bye.

2009-06-13T18:30:00.002+08:00

I should really be updating this space more reularly but somehow there's too little motivation to do so.

Anyway, I'll just update on some of the stuffs that have been happening since the last time I updated.
I'm still working at the same place, I can't wait to quit. If not for the money, I would have just left but I do still need the money though. People are still okay, some drama here and there, some f*cked up system but just gotta endure all that.

Life's been picking up for me, with a cerain someone and I'm thankful for that. (:

We had a gathering for Asri's birthday cum farewell for Ash, Naz and Khair on Tuesday this past week. It was definitely a happy occassion, and I'm realy glad that ULEs and RandomFour have met. New friendships formed, stronger bonds build. Thanks to those that came, Asri, Firah, Khair, Ash, Naz and Ajan. And now the three guys have all answered their call of the nation and it sure feels quiet without them around. No doubt I miss those 3 guys so much.
I guess my life will now revolve mostly around the girls now. Haha. But I really do hope the remaining ULEs will still be able to meet up though, Yannah, Razan, Asri, Ju and Shanana.

Oh, Momentum 2009 was great, but I still do prefer last years' one though. But no doubt it was still worth the 15 bucks I paid for.

And I just found out that Naz makes a reallllllyyyyy good shopping partner. Hahahaha.

I have a sudden craving for Famous Amos cookies.

Good old days,
with a new twist.

2009-05-28T15:23:00.003+08:00

I foresee work getting more mundane than it already is by the end of this week cause quite a number of people from the earlier batches are quitting. And they happen to be most of the gerek people. -_-
As for myself, I have no idea when I wanna quit this job, but I am already getting bored of it. Honestly, it's not the job that I'm so sick of, but more of the people inside, heh. But luckily there are still a few who are staying, better than nothing right.

I can't wait for Saturday! Momentum 2009! I'm so looking forward to it cause at least I'm able to meet Ash and Yannah. I miss them so much, not forgetting Naz, Asri, Ajan, Ju and Shanana as well.

Oh, 23rd May was Phat's 20th Birthday!! I can't wait for our KB only outing soon, 6th June 6th June! And congratulations for passing your TP! Kakak Phat dah boleh drive ah sekarang. Hahaha.

I still wanna study overseas, I still wanna study overseas, I still wanna study overseas. Maybe not now, but somehow someway I will.

The past two nights have been nice. Black or pink? (:

2009-05-17T16:27:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 weeks or so since my last post, and still, nothing much has happened since then. Been working most of the time, Mother's Day celebration last weekend, random meet ups after work, that's all.

The people at work are fun, well, at least the people that I do hang around with. Haha. I really do think that the job will really be boring and I'll be so eager to quit if the people working at boring as hell. Luckily, they're not. And no, we don't take temperatures that much cause we have the thermal scanner for that. It gets really frustrating when there are some visitors who jolly well know the rules but they still insist on coming in when it's not visiting hours and when the patient is in stable condition, just to make our lives harder.
This job is really teaching me how to be patient, with demanding and irrational visitors, with the different personalities of the colleagues, with the many complaints we get, be it from the public or the management itself.

Like I said, if not for the people working there and for the cash, I will not hesitate to quit. Hahaha. And at least I do have something to do, rather than sitting at home and going out and wasting my parent's money. Hah.

2009-05-02T00:19:00.002+08:00

Within one day, I think I have officially reset my biological to that of a normal human being. No more sleeping in the wee hours of 5 or 6 or 7 in the morning and waking up at 4 ot 5 or 6 in the afternoon. Haha. All because of my temporary job at CGH. Long hours, mad rush, mad slacking, but so far so good. Truly an eye-opening experience and I think that one must really be strong willed to be able to last in this kind of environment. Not for the soft-hearted.

Other than the sudden temp job, life's been pretty normal before that. Nothing new, nothing exciting, the same old everyday.

Oh! The only exciting part was the 4 days 3 nights KL Trip with Naz and Yannah. Didn't wanna come back lah, first ever trip with friends, only, and being all on our own. Cambodia trip doesn't really count as one cause we still had advisers coming and the whole trip was based on FYP, so yeah. KL was exciting, was fun, was memorable. (: Would definitely wanna go on another trip.

We will always find our own ways to deal with anything that happens to us,
while it may not be conventional or comfortable for others,
as long as we know what we're doing and understands and appreciates the value of it,
nothing else should matter.

2009-04-16T04:51:00.011+08:00

Diploma in hand, so what's the next step? I'm sure right now I wanna continue my studies and not just stop at a Diploma and start working. If possible, I just wanna study all my life but of course that's not possible. I won't get to earn any money if I continue studying, and no one can deny that money is important in this time and age.

On one hand, I can't wait to get my hands on my own hard earned money and not waste my parent's money anymore cause it's sure not a nice feeling but on the other hand, I'm kinda afraid to enter the working world. =/

I hope my plans for my future are able to work out nicely, no doubt consistent effort has to be put in to achieve my goals, and that's exactly what I'll shall do. InsyaAllah.

The time spent in RP is priceless and I will never ever want to trade it for anything in the world. The valuable friendships, the knowledge gained, incomparable life lessons learnt are the things that being in RP have enriched with. It has made me come out a better and stronger individual with the ability to be more ready to accept different point of views as well as sharpening my presentation skills. Not only that, being in RP has also, in one way or another, helped me gain my confidence and be able to open up conversations easier as compared to the Aisha that I was previously.

These past 3 years have changed me tremendously, opened up my eyes to a whole new perspective, one that I might not have been able to see before, and of course shaping me to be the person that I am today, as well as the person that I will be in time to come.

Getting into the pioneer batch of Diploma in Integrated Events Managements certainly had its ups and downs but I chose to believe that we're the lucky ones cause we'll always have that "pioneer" label stuck and it is an honour on its own, in my opinion.

I think I wouldn't have done any better if I got into any other courses because through DIEM, I guess I discovered my interest and a career path for me. The experiences and opportunities that I was opened up to and went through will be carried with me for as long as I walk on the surface of Earth.

Being in RP has certainly served me well and I hope in my own ways, I have served RP well too.

Overdued photos from graduation ceremony, 070409.

I'll miss Woodlands and Republic Polytechnic, for sure.

On another note,

I would like to say thank you to Shahrain Sardon a.k.a Betz for the belated birthday gifts!

Thank you for the Narciso Rodriguez EDP!!!! :D :D :D

Thank you for the Betz CD tracks, with our own cover as well as birthday card.

Thank you for the personalised deck of card with our "Betz" photo.

Thank you for the pack of ribbons for Nara.

Another thank you shoutout to my brother for the belated birthday gifts as well.

Thank you for the UNKL-Lloyd T-shirts.

Thank you for the UNKL-Lloyd flip flops.

Thank you for the gorgeous shades!

All from Beautiful Bandung. (:

Come Sunday night, I'll be on board the Ekspres Senandung Malam to Kuala Lumpur, with Diyanah and Naz. A trip that was supposed to be a graduation trip for the ULEs but somehow it ended up being just the three of us. But it's okay, we'll make do with what we have and I'm sure we'll have the rest of the ULEs in spirit with us as well. (:

I'm really missing La Familia and ULEs right now. When oh when will there be a complete meet up for each group?

And oh, I really hope the coursemates will be going on Friday. Come onnnnnnn, it's the first ever with Chronos yo! (:

2009-04-07T00:07:00.003+08:00

First and foremost, I wanna thank everyone who wished me. Be it through face to face, MSN, sms, phone call, Facebook and also on Friendster. This year was a quiet affair, but it's okay, I'm still contented cause I still had the important people with me. And that I'll just make do with what I had. (:

Thank you to the Patricks for the lovely magenta Coach skinny. (I LOVE ITTTTTTTT!!!! My first present for my 20th! Hehehe)
Thank you Khair for the Elizabeth Arden Provocative perfume. (I jokingly hinted at him and he really got it for me lah. Sayang kau!)
Thank you Ajan and Nas for the NUM flip-flops and the birthday card. I love it! And especially the words in the card by Nas, it really touched me.
Thank you Mum for the birthday meal as well as the MAC Studio Fix and for everything, everything that you have done for me.
Thank you Abang for the huge birthday card with plenty of my camwhoring photos.
Thank you Ayah for the birthday card and for the cash. The words on the birthday card really meant a lot to me.
Thank you Alice for the bag and the birthday cake. (My one and only birthday cake for the year. Haha)
Thank you Kak Shida for the lovely diamond studded keychain. Love love love it!
Thank you Kak Norli and Kak Yati for the bangles and necklace.
Thank you Kak Ipah and Maklang for the T-shirt.
Thank you Pakngah and the rest for the ikan bakar dinner treat at Malacca.

Hopefully I didn't miss anyone out.

The graduation ceremony for the first batch of DIEM students is happening later on, in about 8 hours plus time. I'm really excited for this. I don't even want to begin on my emotions cause it's just a whole mix of them and there's too many thoughts inside my head right now.
What I'm really looking forward to is meeting the rest of the ULEs as well as my other friends whom I've not met in a loooooooooong time.
Let's all look good for this one day!

And, I miss you friend. It's been quite some time. :(

2009-03-31T01:10:00.003+08:00

I wish that the Malacca trip could have lasted longer. I really enjoyed myself, even though it was just for 2 days 1 night. I wonder when's the next time I can have this kind of trip with my family and relatives again.

Anyway, I've hit the big 20!

No big celebrations this year but it's okay. As long as I get to spend it with the people I love, with the people that matter to me. Doesn't have to be on the day itself, but yeahhhh, I just wanna meet the people that I miss. (:

2009-03-27T02:09:00.002+08:00

Just something to share with those reading my blog, something from me to you.
Your beliefs might differ from mine but no harm in reading with an open mind.
And so I shall extend mine to you.

Actions between two people doesn't neccessarily just involve two, cause others around will be affected too and I have been in that situation too many times now.
No regrets, no remorse, just more lessons in life for me to learn through observation as well as first hand experience.
Even as a bystander you can feel the bits and pieces being hurled at you, what more for the people in the warzone itself.

I realise as I'm entering the realm of twenty, there are more for me to learn each day and that while life isn't always about the good, I believe that when the bad comes, there's more good that comes out of it.
When faced with a situation, you just have to deal with it, make the most out of it and tweak it one way or another so that at the end of the day, you'll bring something home.
You might not end up victorious all the time but even if you lose, you know that that's just one out of the many challenges you'll be faced with, doesn't mean you lose one, you'll lose all.
And even if you win, doesn't mean you'll be winning each and every time. Do know that you have to lose now and then to appreciate the value of your victory.

Do not hope for the highest skies cause you'll be the one that will come tumbling down if things go wrong.
Just give your best at all times, with a sincere and genuine heart, and do not hope or expect for anything in return. With God's will, your efforts will be recognized one day.

For I'm a gift,
God's gift to all those that matters,
deliver within my capabilities,
with the purest of heart.

2009-03-24T03:34:00.002+08:00

Last weekend was another mini getaway, this time to Muar with Dad, Alice and Ajan. Muar is a little too quiet for me, and I doubt I'll want to bring anyone for a tour to Muar since there's nothing much to do there and the atmosphere there is not ideal for a relaxing getaway either.
But I'm glad I got to bring Ajan cause it's been quite a while we got to spend a whole lot of time with each other. I miss our late night sessions already. Hehe. (:

The Desaru/Ramunia trip last last weekend didn't go that bad actually. I enjoyed it and I wanted to stay longer if possible. Now I think I wouldn't mind organizing more of such trips cause it's pretty fun actually. A huge thanks to my dad for the heads up to start off this whole thing.

And I'm going to Malaysia, again, this weekend, for a family wedding in Malacca. Another mini getaway, this time with Mum and relatives.

I can't wait for Thursday's outing with Patricks to Sentosa. It's been so long since we all met lahhhhhhh. Hehehe. And I wonder when can the ULEs and La Familia meet. Hmmmm.

Now now, if only I can decide and do something about my further education plans. I need some motivation.

2009-03-14T05:21:00.003+08:00

So this is it, another 2 hours till assembly time. My emotions are all messed-up. I'm disheartened yet excited yet not looking forward yet trying to be positive yet.... Yeah, you get the picture.

I really hope no big mess ups will occur during the trip, even though it might just be a 2 days 1 night trip, but this is the first time I'm actually organising it. I'm not hoping for much, but I just hope that nothing's gonna make me insane.

2009-03-05T03:31:00.008+08:00

This blog is as good as being non-existent, since I've not been updating it regularly. I wish I still have the drive to update my blog regularly like how I did in the past. Eventhough I'm online most of the time, I don't even think of updating my blog because it seems like such a hassle. And what more when I look at my pictures folder and see that there's tons of photos that I should upload here.

Okay enough about blogging.

It's already March and it's 26 more days to my 20th! As of now, I'm looking forward to that day eventhough I have no idea how I'm gonna spend it but I guess I'm just gonna make the best of whatever comes my way. And 9 more days to my Desaru/Tanjung Ramunia trip. The first ever that I'm organising for quite a number of people, mostly my family. Of course with the help and support of my dad, brother and mum am I able to do this. If not, I wouldn't even bother. But I guess the experience that I will gain will help me in one way or another for my future.

I can't wait for the trip, I need this short getaway, I really need to clear my mind and the sea breeze and life outside of the city will be just what I need, what more in the company of my family and friends. I just hope no major screwups will come our way, eventhough I know I should expect the worst in order to prepare myself.

March is gonna be an eventful month, I just have this huge hunch that it's gonna be.

Okay so I've decided to upload some photos from various outings/events throughout February. I can't be bothered to recall the dates so just enjoy the photos yeah. (:

Wii Session at Ajan's.

Random lepak at Yishun Dam.

Clannies Outing/Dinner.

Bride Wars and Simpang Bedok outing.

Random Taka lepak session.

Random lepak session shots.

RandomFour's first official meetup/outing to Yishun Dam and ECP.

After the first Wii Session at Ajan's.

Last day of work at Sentosa Flowers and beaching session with Ajan.

Pump Room with RandomFour/Another random lepak session/Random Sheesha session.

Sheesha session cum outing to Mustafa Centre that I'll NEVER forget. Hehh.

Now that I've uploaded all those photos, I feel like a hugeeeeeee burden has been lifted off my shoulder. They have been sitting inside the folders for too long and finally I've let them breathe and upload them up here.

And yeah, Asri, Firah and Khair are in most of the pictures because they've been the ones I've been spending the most with in the last few weeks. Just a few weeks and so much has happened. But now I guess we're toning down on the lepak sessions. But yeah, if I could, I would want to repeat those few weeks with them all over again, every single bit.

I still have photos from La Familia Sheesha Session and uhmm last day of school, I think. I'll upload them another time.

I hope my menses come soon because my menses is torturing me. I hate what it's doing to me. It's making me easily irritated and pissed off and not able to tolerate whatever nonsense that's being thrown at me. I'm not usually like that and this time my PMS is really somehow taking over me. So friends, please excuse and forgive me if I'm constantly pissy and fed-up. Hopefully it'll be gone by next week.

It's 4.45 am now and I should turn in now. (:

2009-02-25T03:19:00.002+08:00

So, results are out. And I won't say I'm estatic with mine but I'm still grateful with what I achieved and that I'll still be graduating from RP. Cheers to that.

As of now, I'm confused and unsure of my future. I don't know where I want to go, what I wanna do and what I should do. So many things in my head right now, how I wish everything is decided for me so I won't have to make these decisions but then again if everything is decided for me, then that'll make me worthless as a person cause I won't be making decisions for myself and that'll make me useless.

I definitely wanna continue my studies but thing is I don't know which college/uni I should apply and whether I should be looking for part-time jobs in the mean time.

Sometimes what's best for you may not be what you want and that sucks but I guess it's how you make the most of what's given to you.

I miss the ULE(s) and Patricks. Cause I haven't been meeting with them for quite some time now. I've had my dose of La Familia, even though for a short while and of course, the RandomFour.

Okay I doubt I'll be updating my blog with photos cause I have too many overdue ones and I can't be bothered to upload them anymore. Heh.

Local or overseas? 2009 or 2010? Events or tourism? Urgh, this is giving me a headache.

2009-02-19T07:36:00.003+08:00

The day was such an emotional rollercoaster. Never thought that it will come to this, never thought that within such a short period of time, we created so many memories together. Memories that will last for a lifetime.

I didn't expect IT to happen now, never saw it coming and it hit me like a slap to the face.
I didn't know it was the final goodbye but it definitely felt like it and now I know why I felt that way.

Just within 3 weeks of knowing each other, we've all laughed and cried together, literally.

I really wonder how things will be after this. It definitely won't be the same like how it was but I really hope things won't get ugly.

Time flies real fast and it was such a short period of time. I know that all good things have to come an end but I just wished it wasn't this fast.

Four like no other.

2009-02-12T07:33:00.003+08:00

So much for trying to confine myself at home, it didn't work, I fell in to temptation. Haha. I shall attempt it again next week.

Anyway, my brother's off to Bandung till next Thursday and I'm gonna miss him and his presence at home.

Okay I need to sleep, I need to rest and restore my energy for the day later on.

My pre and post menstrual syndrome is annoying. Urgh.

2009-02-09T13:34:00.000+08:00

This past week has been one of my better ones, definitely.

Monday was with Ajan and Asri. Kak Ain fetched us at Kampong Melayu and off we were to Arnold's at Pasir Ris where Firah met us. After dinner, went to Simei with Firah to meet Khair.
Tuesday was spent at home.
Wednesday met up with Asri, Firah and Khair and we went to Jalan Kayu to have supper and to Yishun Dam for a while and off to East Coast Park afterwards.
Thursday was a short meet up with Khair and we surprised Asri afterwards. Haha.
Friday was to RP with Firah to pay my library fines and collect my transcript and we went to Orchard and met up with Asri and Khair. Another late night out with the 2 boys.
Saturday was the Bride Wars movie outing with Rain, Asri and Firah. Khair met us after the movie and we chilled at Marina Square. Firah went off first and the rest of us were still at Marina Square, till my brother msged and we went to take the car at town. Another late night out with them boys.
Sunday was unplanned. I was at the airport to send of my cousin to Australia and yeahhhh I asked Asri and Khair to meet me and they were on a mission to rescue me. -_- Haha. But yeah, it was still sweet of them to meet me lah. And yes, another late night out, but this time at Simei, at Khair's swing. Haha.

It's nice to be able to spend time together, till the wee hours, and just know each other a little bit more. And it's nice being in the company that I truly love, that includes Khair, eventhough I've only known him for a week? Haha.

Oh well, let's just enjoy it while it last.

I'll update more soon, I guess. (:

2009-02-03T18:26:00.002+08:00

So it's already the 3rd day of February, January went by just like that, didn't it?

Anyway, I'm done with Sentosa Flowers 2009, was over on Sunday actually. Went for a mini picnic at Tanjung Beach with Ajan after our morning shift, went into the waters and it was freaking cold. Been a while since I soaked myself in the seawaters. Some quality time spent with Ajan. Sweet lah kite. Haha.

Met up with Asri and Ajan yesterday at Ajan's place to help her cut some stuff for her brother, played with her Wii afterwards which made Asri and me drenched with our own perspiration. Went to Kampong Melayu afterwards cause Asri wanted to collect his costumes, met Kak Ain afterwards and we went to Arnold's at Pasir Ris where Firah met us also. A random day of some sorts. After dinner, Ajan, Asri and Kak Ain went off and Firah and me went to Simei to meet Khair and there we were, chilling at Simei.

I guess I'm gonna be rotting at home for now. I want to find a job but I guess I just need a break from everything first.

I'm just gonna take each day as it comes.

2009-01-25T23:45:00.002+08:00

It's officially over. Last day of school was such a whirlwind of emotions. From the happy moments in class snapping photos, to the emotional ULE card exchange after school to the crazy moments during karaoke with ULEs plus Mira.

Started working for Sentosa Flowers 2009 yesterday. Still have a few more days to go. Okay I'm not in the mood to blog. My feelings are all over the place but I can't quite put a finger on it. This is frustrating.

I miss RP, and everything about it. I miss LFG, and Betz and ULEs. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Poly life wouldn't have been the same without the friends I've made, namely LLKG (omgggg that was so wayyyy back), La Familia, CCC and now ULEs and of course all the lovely classmates, be it from Year 1 or from DIEM itself.

I should not type anymore cause I'm not really feeling too stable right now and I'll just be babbling nonsense and I should stop now. Okay bye.

2009-01-23T01:32:00.001+08:00

Around 7 hours left to the start of the last day in school. I wonder how it's gonna be like later on.

I'm having butterflies in my stomach as I'm typing this. I predict a whirlpool of emotions to be playing later on.

The end is here.

2009-01-19T01:01:00.009+08:00

I guess this week has been filled with gatherings and last minute meet ups with the people that mean so much to me.

Monday was school as normal, but there was only Asri and me since the rest didn't have school on Monday, or if they did, they weren't in school.

Tuesday was school as usual too, spent with the usuals. Asri, Razan, Naz, Ju, Shanana. And had a super surprising and unexpected and last minute meet up with Betz at Woodlands Int, since he had a nights out, or whatever they call it. Hehhh. (:

Wednesday was FYP presentation. Had a little photo taking session after everything ended. The little gathering after Ju's final assessment was precious, having Ju, Sha, Asri, Razan, Ash and Yannah. Pure happiness and sense of freedom could be felt from within. Went to Jalan Kayu and Yishun Dam afterwards, just the 5 of us without Ju and Sha. But it was still fun though.

Thursday was the only day out of this whole entire week that I stayed home most of the time, but even so, I went to my grams in the evening.

Friday, La Familia Girls had our sheesha session after school. But it turned out to be La Familia Girls plus Sonok cause Sonok came down after work. It could have been a complete La Familia gathering if Rain was able to make it but he was too tired, but it's okay.

Saturday, had dinner with my Dad and Alice and then met Phat at Marina Square, that was really last minute and impromptu, before meeting Rain at Dhoby Ghaut to watch Changeling for the midnight show. That was another last minute plan that was made quite late in the day.

Sunday, went for Syidah's brother's engagement and took photos for the day. Quite an experience I must say but it was tiring as well. Went home and Atiqah came over, another last minute plan, and we spent some time talking about what has been happening and stuffs. It was a short meet up but at least we were able to update each other about our lives and so on. And it's nice to know that even though meet ups might not be as frequent as we want them to be, we're still able to talk and share stuffs just like we always have, it's comforting to know that we're still the same, that part hasn't changed.

Well I guess the week would have been complete if I was able to meet Firah as well, seeing how I somehow met almost all of my closest groups of friends, La Familia, Betz, ULEs, Patricks (I saw Saiful at City Hall!).

It's not easy for me to be able to meet and spend time with all the people mentioned above in one week. That makes this past week a very fulfilling week for me.

Each one of those people I've met and spent time with in this past week means so much to me and I love them for who they are, and I'm more than thankful for their presence in my life, they're all so dear and have touched my heart, in their own special way. And I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.

Snippets of my past week! Enjoy them. (:

2009-01-15T16:36:00.003+08:00

And so FYP presentation is over. Now I'm just left with 4 more school days till everything is officially over. No more UTs, forever!

Post FYP outing this semester was different as compared to last semester, when we had almost everyone of the ULEs present, but I guess it was still nice cause we were in each other's presence. I don't feel like talking about how I'm feeling bout the leaving school cause my feelings are all over the place.

Well I guess for now, let's just enjoy and treasure each other's presence while we still can.

Talking about that, La Familia starbucks session tomorrow! YEAYYYYY! (:

2009-01-12T01:51:00.002+08:00

So it has been a week since school started. A week has gone, which means we're left with just 2 more weeks.

I don't think I'm coping well with the fact that everything is gonna be over in just 2 weeks. But I hope somehow, I'll make it through, I know I will, I have to.

The past week have been fine, I guess. It has the ups and downs that life brings you but you just gotta face it. I'm glad I got to meet up with the ULEs, even if it's hard to get all of us together at the same time. And I'm glad too the La Familia Girls got to meet up for lunch. And I'm really glad I got to meet Betz on Saturday. Sincere apologies for making you wait sooooooooooooo long.

I can't wait for Wednesday, the final final lap for FYP. After Wednesday, there'll be no more worries, okay maybe except for the final GPA. But yeah, after FYP presentation, we'll just have to attend classes for the remaining days and making the most of what we have left.

It's only coming to the 2nd week of the first month of 2009 and things have been happening, issues have been rising. Well I guess all these are just to prepare me of what's to come in the future. Let me get beaten now and I'll be stronger to face anything else in time to come.

I'm hoping that by this time next year, I'll still be studying but not in sunny island Singapore. I really wanna do this, I want this badly.

2009-01-05T01:31:00.002+08:00

School will start in about 7 hours' time. I'm actually having mixed feelings about school. I'm only looking forward to meeting my friends, I guess. And I can't wait to get out of RP with a diploma in hand, insyaAllah.

3 weeks and 9 school days, that's all we have left. I'm gonna cherish these 3 weeks and 9 school days cause that's all the time that we can have together, to see each other on a regular basis. We all know how difficult and irritating it can be to meet up during the holidays, so yeah, I'm gonna make full use of these 3 weeks to spend with my friends. Be it the ULEs or La Familia.

Well, I miss the good old days.

And at this point of time, I really wish that my future plans can be confirmed, or more like I really hope what I want for my future can be fulfilled easily. I've been thinking about it for days and days now. And I guess I won't feel settled till I get at least some kind of confirmation.

Okay, I'm really lazy to organize my iTunes playlist for Windows. Urgh. And apparently iTunes is being irritating, sometimes the songs will play but no sound will come out from iTunes, and just iTunes. And when I'm able to play songs and hear sound from iTunes, I can't hear anything in a video call. Anyone seem to know why? I've been reading in forums and such but there's not one solution that is easy enough for me to understand.

2009-01-02T00:42:00.003+08:00

I was so happy that I things took a turn for the countdown, even though it was quite last minute and I only went out of my house at about 9plus pm. But anway, I had fun, and I'm really, really glad I got to see those fireworks. Spectacular, as always. They never fail to surprise me each time.

So I celebrated the first few moments of 2009 with Rasyidah and her friends, new found friends, good thing they were nice. And and I got to meet Phat and her cousins afterwards. After not meeting up with Phat for a month or so, I finally got to meet her during the first few hours of 2009! But we still need a full day of K.B lah.

Back to school next Monday. I don't really know how I feel about that actually. It's all a mixture right now.

2008-12-31T01:03:00.003+08:00

The plan to go to school to configure my laptop didn't happen in the end, cause I figured it was kinda late and I was afraid they wouldn't be able to finish by the time they're supposed to close. I guess I'll be going on Friday, no, I have to go on Friday, before school starts.

So, '08 has definitely been memorable. Well, each year was actually. I guess I'll do a sum up/recap of what this year has brought/taught me and the things I did and went through.

I think I'll do it month by month, and put whatever I can remember. Haha.

January:

January was not much of an eventful month, I guess. I remember having the Malacca trip with my family and relatives, for the ikan bakar. A short but perfect getaway with the right company, no doubt.

And I guess it was around this period of time that I lost one of my friend, no, not to Him, but yeah due to certain issues. But that is something I don't regret up till now. I've lost one, but I gained many more.

February:

I will certainly not forget February, cause that was the month when my mum, brother and I went to Vancouver and Seattle. That was definitely a much deserved holiday after our initial plans had to be postponed due to my grandmother's condition. I love Vancouver, cause even though it's not really a rural area, it's not as busy as other cities. Just nice. And it was the first time I stepped foot onto Canadian grounds too.

Stanley Park, Grouse Mountain (SNOW SNOW SNOW!), Capilano Bridge, my brother just driving round and round the city, that Halal restaurant in front of our hotel, MOUTHWATERING BAGELS FOR BREAKFAST, Space Needle, Gastown, shopping madness in Seattle (Gap, Old Navy, Macy's), Public Market Centre.

And this was the month that we had our La Familia chalet, 5 days 4 nights if I'm not wrong. With Party Rendezvous being part of the plan, it was certainly one of the best chalets ever. Just spending time with the people we're comfortable with, nothing beats that. The memories created. How I wish we can repeat that again, with everyone present.

February also was the month I got the offer for internship at MediaCorp Publishing, even though it was towards the end of the month. That just meant it was the start of a great experience.

March:

I was mostly busy with my internship at MPB for the month of March, except towards the end when it was about to end. Definitely a busy month at MPB, with different events that they had.

Elle Horoscope Party, Singapore Women Award and other small events on the side.

Oh, I went to Desaru with Rain, my dad, Alice, my brother and Kak Mich for my Dad's birthday as well. Definitely a nice getaway, and definitely a nice birthday treat for my Dad I must day. Ah, those were the days when Betz and I had almost all the time for us. Sigh. I miss those times. Desaru was so much better with Betz around, and I remember how freaking hard it was to persuade him to come. -_- Haha, but I'm glad he did, and I'm sure he was too.

And of course, March was my birthday month, even though my birthday is on the very last day of March. Haha.

So what did I do for my birthday this year? Well, I had the Birthday Dinner and Karaoke session with my family on the eve, and then I had the Karaoke session with Patricks on the day itself and I had a chalet where I invited the Patricks and Familia in conjunction with my birthday (sort of), and of course the Botanic picnic with Familia for my birthday. Just nice, spent it with the ones that really mattered.

April:

I was already a Year 3 student. But of course it was still the beginning and I didn't feel much pressure yet. Oh yeahhh, this was the month that my eye got infected, I had an ulcer on my left eye and I remember the much too frequent trips to SGH and SNEC, and most of them were with Rain, and again, I miss those times with Betz laaaaa.

I can still remember the day I had to go to the A&E after visiting the doctor and he referred me to SGH. What a long wait. And that was the day that there was a family gathering at my house. How great, cause all I could afford to do was lie down and sleep.

Queen's We Will Rock You Musical with Betz and his brother and cousin was in April too. My first musical! All thanks to Betzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh, Style:Wedding Glamour Bash happened in April too. I got to spend one night at Swissotel cause I was helping MPB out for the event. Another great event and I was glad I got to help out somehow.

May:

The all-in-one Mother's Day Celebration plus Kak Mich's and Izzan's Birthday Celebration, and was also the day of Kak Mich a.k.a Nur Areyana's conversion. One of the family gatherings that I will definitely remember. The Mother's Day video which had most of them in tears, having more than one birthday/mother's day cake, BBQ at the carpark, the cleaning up session. I wish we had more of that, at my place, I mean.

And of course, Phat's birthday celebration at Sentosa with La Familia. A near perfect day with the right company. From the planning up to the day itself. Picnic, good food, great weather, even greater photo-whoring sessions and awesome company. Try to beat that.

A couple of small events in this month too. Momentum (I'LL NEVER FORGET MOMENTUM, ASH AND RAIN, YOU BOTH BETTER NOT TO! HAHA!), movie sessions with Betz, Congkak with La Familia, super random MOS outing with a few of the classmates, La Familia Starbucks session.

June:

I think this month I was quite into Cecilia Ahern's books and I went into quite a frenzy. I got started on PS: I love you and I went on to get the other books, either by myself or as a gift by my cousin. Loved the whole series.

Went to Damansara with mum and some of the cousins and aunts. My first trip to Damansara and I loved it. With the never ending variety of food and it was a nice place to just chill. Definitely recommended.

Family BBQ at ECP. Even my grandmother came, wheelchair and all. I think there was a total of 3 or 4 cars plus 1 lorry for this day? The usual family chaos, in a good way, of course. More BBQ sessions pleaseeeee.

The highlight of June was when I passed my driving test, even though it was the 2nd one. Finally, after a year or so going back and forth that driving centre, I was finally done with it. But at times, somehow I just can't seem to believe that I've passed my driving test. It seems surreal that I'm driving at 19. On one hand, I think that's quite young, but on the other, I'm loving driving. The novelty still haven't worn off yet. Haha.

July:

Another month that I won't forget.

First up, was selected to be one of the ones that went to Cambodia. Which means new friendships were to be created, and hell yeah it did.

And I won't forget the bonding session the few of us had at CWP's carpark. Asri, Rain, Razan, Yannah, Ash, Shanana and Naz. Who can forget anyway? Hahaha.

FYP 1 Presentation was in the later part of July, followed by the post FYP outing afterwards. Great day I must say.

Of course, the main highlight of July was my New York City trip, where I was absent from school for a few days but luckily it was just after my FYP Presentation.

New York was great and was not a disappointment at all.

Madison Ave, Central Park, TIMES SQUARE, Soho, Fifth Ave, Niagara Falls, more Times Square, Old Navy, Hershey's Store, MnM's store, and yes, even more Times Square.

I knew NYC was a city I would love and fall in love I surely did. I would love to give NYC another visit, but this time when it's winter. Hopefully there'll be snow too.

And not forgetting, July was also the month of three important people in my life, my mum on the 12th, Atiqah's on 20th and Firah's on 20th.

August:

Birth of Nara Aqysha and Lily Fliffy!! All thanks to DaddyBetz. HEHEHEHE.

NUSS Guild House with the classmates, organized by Clive, leisure faci. I will definitely love to have another visit.

MOS afterwards with the classmates plus DIEM-mates plus Rain and some others. A night to remember as well.

CAMBODIAAAAA!!!!! No doubt the MAIN MAIN MAIN highlight of August will be Cambodia.

And up till today, I have not uploaded photos of Cambodia. Toooooo many lah. Haha.

Great, great memories and experience formed. Friendships created, bonds were stronger than ever.

That Cambo trip will defintely be one of the memories that I have that will stay with me for a very, very long time. God knows how much that trip means to me and how much it impacted my life and how much I treasure the moments over there.

The first ever overseas trip ever since I've been in RP, and what was great was that the people that came along were possibly the best people that could have gone on a trip together.

The mosque beside our temporary house, the steep stairs, girls sleeping in the living room and guys sleeping in the room, the late night sessions at the dining area till 4am, late night talks with Razan, my sleeping partner at Siem Reap, Pub Street, Zone One, Temple Club, Open House, Road Show, Fashion Show, Fired Up!, queueing up to use the toilet, showering together with the girls, the gecko encounter that freaked all of us out, hearing azan subuh, asri performing prayers (hehe!), Angkor Wat, Tonle Sap River boat ride, bumpy tuk tuk rides, In Touch, Soup Dragon, Syukri, Yusuf, Musa, sending out of invitations, emotional roller coaster ride for the event teams, KRAMASSSSS, genocide museum, Angkor Night

market, Old market, Central market, Russia market, Maharajah, Mekong River, Sihanoukville, sunset at the beach, Island Bar, UTOPIAAAA!!, night bike ride with an empty fuel tank halfway (Asri better remember this, haha), 12 hours long bus ride from Siem Reap to Sihanoukville and oh my god this will never end if I continue.

The trip Cambodia trip held so much memories, without a doubt. One of the best things of 2008, I must say.

September:

Ramadhan month.

Which was just filled with Iftar Sessions with the different groups of people. My 2 best boys (Asri and Rain), CCC.Loves feat Naz and Rain, La Familia, Clannies, Patricks.

The month when Rain had to serve the nation, which meant no more late night phone calls, no more frequent sms-es from Betz, no more frequent updating sessions, no more spending time with Betz. Yeah, the thought of it was depressing and it was hard to adjust to initially but I think we managed it. Of course we did. (: We're stronger than everrrrrrrr!

Oh yeah, kuih making session at my house with Asri. Fire sparklers and random chats at the carpark afterwards. Ah, memories. Hehh.

October:

Syawal!!!

Hari Raya this year was great, I must say. With the addition of a few more relatives over at my place, it made Aidilfitri a whole lot more brighter. Raya outing with the family was the usuals, but still as fun nevertheless.

The Malay DIEM Raya outing was superbly great, no doubt lah! 2 MPVs, 14 - 16 people, more than 12 hours worth of rounding. From the West to North to East. Ended the day with fire sparklers at my carpark. I really hope we can continue this ever year.

Patricks Raya outing was a short but still fun as ever. With just the 5 of us, I think it was just enough.

And oh, I think October was the month I spent an awfully lot of time with Asri, cause I slept at my aunt's place for quite a bit due to school and stuffs. Those days, those days.

And of course, October was the birthday month for 3 people who are dear to me. Rain on the 1st, Faten on the 2nd, and my brother on the 10th.

November:

November was Reflections month. With Sekaran, MUSE, You Got Beats, Siapa Baba and of course, the Closing Bash. And yeah I think in November I spent most of it with my CCC.loves, loving their company ever since Cambodia lah.

Ohhh yeahhh Flame Awards 08! Masquerade. Loved what I had on that day, still loving it! Haha.

Ajan's birthday on the third!

Hmm, I think I was on a major emotional ride for quite some time in this month. The only time that I remember having quite a bit of rough PMS period. By far the most depressing month I guess. But it wasn't THAT bad. I survived and here I am, better than ever. We gain life lessons every single day, don't we? (:

December:

Tokyo - Osaka trip in the earlier part of December. A new kind of trip for me since that was the first time I was traveling overseas with my family without my mum, and it wasn't easy initially. But I guess it got better along the way and yes, I did enjoy the trip.

Tokyo Disneyland, Turkish Restaurant, Shibuya, their complicated Subway and Metro lines, sushiiiiii, Filet O Fish almost every other day, breathtaking view of Mt Fuji, amazing view at Hakone, 8 hours bus ride from Tokyo to Osaka on the Premium Bus, Shinsaibashi, Universal Studios Osaka, super last minute shopping with my brother on the last night, going online every night that I could. Hahaha. I preferred Osaka better than Tokyo, definitely. The people, the shopping, the streets, the atmosphere.

Kak Shida's and Abang Rukie's Wedding the day after I reached Singapore. Loved the whole day, from beginning to end. It has been a while since the last wedding in the family, so yeah, explains why I was excited. But I think I was more excited about my clothes than anything else. Haha.

December also meant school holidays, which I'm having currently. And I'll be back in school on 5th January 2009. Can't wait for that!

And I got my Macbook! HEHEHEHHE.

Okay so my recap is done. Phew, that certainly took quite some time. Well, recalling the months one by one certainly brought me back to the various times and memories and I can't help but smiling cause I realised that I mostly remember the good ones instead of the bad ones and that's good isn't it? No point brooding or moping about anything I figure.

Yes, the year 2009 is welcoming us soon. That means I'm gonna hit the big 2!!!!! Well, honestly, it doesn't make much difference to me. Just that the change from being a "teen" to a "twenty" will surely bring different experiences, different responsibilities and new challenges.

And actually, I'm having mixed feelings about school. The positive side is that I'll be able to meet my friends on a regular basis without much difficulties. And that I'll be able to spend time with them cause I've missed them greatly.

But the negative side is that going back to school will mean it's just 3 weeks left before graduation, and I'll be out of that school, leaving behind memories. That means I won't be able to see my friends in school anymore.

But then again, I'm glad about graduation cause that will mean that we will embark on a new journey.

I'm excited for 2009 actually. I just have this good feeling about it and that it'll be a relatively good year, insyaAllah. Well, let's just hope for the best.

Happy New Year all.

I think that I won't be celebrating NYE and that I'll just be at home. I'm kinda bummed about that because I'm actually excited to welcome the new year and I was hoping I could with some friends but seemed that pretty much everyone else already had plans. If only I had a significant other, this wouldn't be too difficult.

I don't want it to be just another day for me cause this year it's different. I'm happy with '08, no doubt but I'm eager for '09 as well. So yeah, it will hold some kind of significance for me. Oh well.

Still,

'09, I'm ready for you.

If you managed to read all the way to the bottom, congrats! Hahaha. When was the last time I've had a major long wordy entry anyway?

2008-12-24T03:38:00.004+08:00

Snippets from ULE Picnic on Friday, 191208 as well as from my Tokyo - Osaka, Japan trip and also from Kak Shida's and Abg Rukie's Big Day, 131208. Enjoy them! (:

Okay I'm still in the process of making the big switch from Windows to Mac. Transferred my stuffs over, but I'm so not looking forward to recreating my playlists in iTunes all over again. So troublesome, urgh. But I'm really in the mood to type and blog on my new Macbook. Hehe.

It needs a lot of getting used to. Let's hope I'll be able to get the hang of it soon. Well, I uploaded some of the Japan trip photos on Facebook, so those of you who are my friends on Facebook will be able to see them. I'm still very lazy to upload photos my blog. And I don't have Photoshop yet, and that is not fun.

In a way, I can't wait for school to reopen cause that's when I'm able to see my friends on a regular basis. The only thing that I don't like about this holidays is that it can get quite difficult to meet up with friends, due to our own schedule and stuffs. But then again, I am enjoying the sleeping late and waking up late part. But thing is, I usually am awake by 12pm or 2pm, which is kinda weird cause I used to wake up at 4 or 5pm during the holidays. Heh.

Speaking of school, we're all left with just 3 weeks of school when school reopens. For me, it means only 9 schooling days since I only have 3 days of school every week. 9 freaking days left! 9 very very very precious days. I need to make sure I get my ass in class every single day of that 9 days, it's my last few moments with the people I've been seeing in RP.

Graduation up next, god. But before that, FYP presentation. I need lots and lots and lots of luck for that, I can't screw that up.

I just hope 2009 will be a good year for me.

2008-12-18T00:36:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Japan on Friday night, flight got delayed for a little while. And we headed straight to Woodlands to kinda "surprise" those who were there and we wanted to see the wedding venue itself and the set up and the decor.

Saturday was a loooooong but fun day from the start. It felt really nice to be surrounded with family and the people that I love. And to share that special day with the bride and groom. Memorable day Saturday was, beginning to end. (:

Sunday was a random lepak session with Razan, Asri, Firah and Razan's cousin Syirah. Super super super random day but it was fun nevertheless.

Today was just an impromptu lepak session at Razan's, and to taste her lasagna. Hehe. You just need lots and lots of cheese babe. Hahaha.

ULE(s) picnic this Friday and I'm excited for thattttt!

It can get pretty tiring to deal with certain people sometimes, and I'm fed up with that. Just stop it, just stop.

2008-12-07T20:50:00.002+08:00

So it's already Sunday and I'm left with 5 more days till Friday. Counting down, couting down.
Tokyo have been okay, I'm loving the cold.

Osaka tomorrow till Friday.

I've never missed Singapore this much when overseas and have never longed to be home with my mum this much. And furthermore, it's Hari Raya Aidiladha tomorrow and it's the first time I'm not celebrating it at Singapore. :(

I miss my mum, I miss my mum, I miss my mum.

2008-12-03T15:31:00.002+08:00

So in about 9 and a half hours time, I'll be inside the place on my way to Shanghai and then to Tokyo. Not on SQ this time, but China Eastern Airlines. It's gonna be a first for me and I wonder how my experience is gonna be like. I need to lower down my expectations cause I can't expect it to be the same as SQ. Hehhh.

I wanna have Popeye before I go!!!!! Those who are sending me off, let's have Popeye's later on okay.

A shoutout to the people I'm gonna miss,
My mum, my first time travelling to somewhere far without her :(,
those in my house (Maklang, Kak Ipah, Non, Mamat)
my grandmotherrrrrrrrr,
my La Familia (Phat, Eeqa, Heira, Aten, Sonok) - let's try to have a full strength gathering when I come back okay,
my Patricks (Firah, Atiqah, Syid, Saiful) - we need to meet up!!!!,
my ULEs (Asri, Ajan, Mak, Ashybaby, Ju, Shanana and Naz) - picnic jom when I come back!,
my BETZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ who's gonna POP next Wednesday and gonna have his 10 days block leave after that, YEAYYYY!

I'm looking forward to winter and hopefully my flu and cough will not get worse, hopefully my skin will be thick enough to conquer the cold. Haha.

I'm looking forward to Kak Shida's wedding that will be on the 13th, the day after I come back to Singapore. Let's hope I won't be extremely tired so that I'll be able to enjoy the whole day. I can't wait to wear my pretty pretty dresses. Hehehehe.

And I swear I feel like detaching my nose. Urgh.

2008-12-01T01:53:00.003+08:00

My throat's freaking itchy, and it's kinda funny how the condition of my throat changed drastically in a matter of hours. Things were fine on Friday and Saturday, but the moment I woke up on Sunday, I was invaded by phlegm and dry cough.
I hope it's gonna get better soon. I don't wanna leave not feeling great, physically.

It was such a family-filled weekend, not that I really matter though. Just that I'm quite tired, especially with my throat. My body was heaty throughout the whole day but I just tried to keep it under control. I hope once I wake up for school later on, things will be much much better. I need to come to school tomorrow, I want to, I wanna see the faces that I'm gonna miss so so so so much. (:

I realise I have too many photo albums to be editted and uploaded, I really wonder when the heck I'm gonna upload them. And to think that Cambodia photos are still untouched. Urgh. Don't be surpised if my photo entries will only be seen again in 2009.
And looking through the photos in my folders, I'm still loving the make-up I had for Flame Awards 08. Can I do something like that during my wedding, which will take place in hmm, about a decades' time? Hahaha.

It's already the 1st day of the last month of 2008. No kidding when I say time flies freaking fast. We're left with about 4 more weeks to graduation. And it feels like only a few months ago I stepped into RP in Year 1. It feels like everything that has happened was crammed into just a few months.
So much happened in 2008, some were life changing ones for me, I guess, in a way or another.
So many things I'm looking forward to in the future, but what I know is, for awhile, at least, let me take a breather.

I can't say yes all the time, I have my reasons.

2008-11-29T02:02:00.002+08:00

So it's been ages since my last update, and yes, still no pictures. Haha. Anyway, since my last post, things have gotten better and I'm just going to take things as they come and not think too much about anything.

Oh, I've gotten my laptop back. Yeayyyyyyyy. We have about 4 more weeks till graduation, that is freaking fast okay. How time flies, sigh. There are a lot of things about RP, or rather, the people I've met through this school that I'm gonna miss once I leave that institution.

Oh yeahhhhh, TRCC had the Reflections Closing Bash earlier on and Taufik Batisah was thereeeee. No surprise that I got all crazy the moment he was on stage, apologies to Ash and Asri cause they were constantly grabbed by me. Hahaha. Freaky Z was there too, and and and RP's very own Replug was awesome lah, no kiddingggggggggg. Ahhh Taufik Taufik Taufik Taufik Taufikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Such a good Friday I must say. Hehh. At least a good last Friday before I'm off. Hehe.
And now I think I'm losing my voice. Haha.

Betz session tomorrow, like FINALLY. After MONTHS of not being able to go out and spend quality time together, I'm so looking forward to that. I think the both of us have quite a bit to update each other about.

Okay, I'm just gonna enjoy these coming days. (:

Winter winter winter winter winter! That, I'm looking forward to.

2008-11-19T22:43:00.002+08:00

I've been sucha burden recently, especially to my family. I've not been the best daughter, not even a good one, and neither have I been a good sister.
I've been having so much issues, one to another, and it's not really helping in anything.
In a way, I wanna try living by myself overseas, then I'll know the meaning of everything and everything else will just be more meaningful.
Been making my mum worried, not being sensitive to her feelings, not being understanding to her feelings and concerns. I'm sorry I'm not good at that, that's something I'll need to work on. But then again, who hears my thoughts? What about my concerns about everything that is going on?
But I'm okay with that, I'll live with that, I'll voice out only to those who cares and to those I feel comfortable with.

And sometimes, you gotta stop yourself from depending too much on others, too much hope equals to as much disappointment when you can't get them.

And I've never thought I could feel lonely in the presence of the people I call my own.

This is where having someone to call my own will be nice. At least I know whenever I'm down, I'll have someone who definitely will be there to talk to, to make me feel better, to assure me that the world's not such a bad place and that life is not a bitch.
I hate this loneliness that creeps up when I know I have great people around me.

And to those that have been there, thank you so much, your don't know what your presence means to me.

2008-11-15T00:27:00.003+08:00

Nothing new, my laptop is still at Fujitsu and that is still irritating me.

I'm going Desaru for the weekends with my Dad, Mom, Kak Ipah and Maklang, yeahhhhh. Well I just hope it will be as fun as I was hoping it to be.

Nope I'm not in a good mood right now and it's definitely not because I'm PMS-ing. I got real issues to deal with, or maybe I should just ignore these issues and be ignorant and SURPRESS it all.

Oh anyway, MUSE on Wednesday was quite great I must say, especially ICG and the tarian. I was on the edge of my seat grabbing Razan and Yannah most of the time. Mesmerized lah katakannnnn. Haha.

Argh I'm still very bitter over some stuffs, and I really hope I'll be able to settle it really soon. I need to see how it's gonna be, ahhhhhh.

2008-11-06T02:10:00.002+08:00

My laptop is currently at Fujitsu and it's pretty irritating not having your own laptop. I can't seem to use my wireless connection for the laptop that I loaned and that's extra irritating. Have to resort to either using my brother's or cousin's laptop.

I've not been pms-ing for quite some time now, no kidding, but somehow I feel like it's gonna come back any day now. Shit. I hate it when that happens. Everything will just not feel right and my mood will just be foul all the way, without any rhyme or reason, and nothing will seem to make me happy and everything will just be depressing.

Well, I hope my mood won't be affected when I watch MUSE next week. Oh, Sekaran 2 was fabulous. I especially love the ending. Good job to everyone that was involved, we were all so mesmerized. (:

Okay, I'm hating myself right now, hating myself for feeling the way that I've been feeling, hating myself for thinking the thoughts that I have, hating myself for having the nerve to have even the slightest hopes or expectations, hating myself to think that I'm even worth it.
This is not good.

And most times,
you just gotta fend for yourself.
Cause you know,
there's no one who's able to wipe your tears.

2008-11-01T17:29:00.002+08:00

So it's been quite awhile since my last post and still, no photos yet. Haha. A few things have been happening, both good and bad I guess. As for the good, I'm enjoying it all but as for the bad, I know all these are just obstacles that I have to go through and lessons in life that I have to learn in order for me to come out stronger than before. Everything happens for a reason and I really hope all the various lessons that I'm learning will benefit me one day, in one way or another.

It's already the 1st day of the 11th month of the year and soon 2009 is gonna welcome us. How fast 2008 has been for me. The 1 week school holidays is gonna end tomorrow, and after this I can already feel the FYP heat burning. We still have a lot to do for our report and the deadlines are haunting me.

I'm grateful for the people that I have around me, for the people that I call friends. Old and new alike. I hope these people know who they are, if they've been there for me, that's them.
I love them all the same. And of course to those who have been close to me and helped me through things, I appreciate your presence, time and help cause it matters to me. (:

I guess November is gonna be a busy month, especially for FYP. I can't wait for December to come cause that means, HOLIDAYSSSSSSSSS.

Even with everything that is happening, I can't help feeling happy and thankful.
(:

2008-10-24T00:28:00.003+08:00

I miss my Betz.
:(

Raya outing with Patricks was a short affair but an extremely fun one. Big thanks to Asri for accompanying me and for every single thing. (:
And a big shoutout to the girls, Yannah and Razan for the talks we had. I love you both laaaaaaaaaaaaaa. (:

La Familia Girls beraya this Saturday! YEAYYYYY!

2008-10-21T12:35:00.002+08:00

So I was one of the silly ones who had to buy a thermometer yesterday, for some preparedness exercise the school was having. But yeay, atleast I have a thermometer now, I lost the one I got in secondary school.

Oh, the ''a'' in my keyboard has dropped off and typing is practically irritating. I won't be surprised if soon one by one of the letters will drop off and soon I'll have a botak laptop. It doesn't help that one of my ''shift'' button dropped off too and the other doesn't work.

Anyway, it's the last week of Syawal and I still have 2 more outings to complete. Will be going out with Patricks later on and with La Familia Girls, since both guys are busy, this Saturday.

Roundings with Yannah, Razan, Asri and Ain yesterday was fun. Though the rain just had to come when we were having fun, but atleast it was time well spent. (:

This is pretty much a meaningless post. Wait till I have the mood to edit photos from the raya outing with DIEM-mates as well as from other outings/events.

2008-10-16T00:17:00.000+08:00

When there's an overwhelming longing to love and be loved,
to give and receive special hugs, kisses, touches and caresses,
to send and receive texts only meant for you,
to get that look or gaze in his eyes saying you're his only one,
to have phone conversations late at night for hours without ever getting bored of his voice,
to seek comfort in his presence and nothing else matters,
to celebrate special moments together,
and to create unforgettable memories that are only meant the both of you and for noone else to ever take them away,
and there's nothing really I can do about it.

This is when being wiped clean single gets to me the most. It can get pretty frustrating, it eats me up inside.

2008-10-14T19:40:00.018+08:00

Pictures from the Lebaran period.

Spring cleaning on the night before Syawal, 011008.

How my house looks after all the cleaning was done.

1st day of Syawal, 011008.

As usual, my family only went to one house on the first day, which is my grandmother's house. But the difference this year was that my house was very lively on the first day. Greyish-silver was the colour of choice for my family this year.

All the ladies.

And again, us ladies.

Nara sayangggg.

All those who were from my place to my grams'.

Abang Haikel and his daughter, Syarifah Insyirah.

Kak Ipah and my grams.

Me, Kak Dayah, Kak Norli and Danish Irfan.

Muhd Sufyan a.k.a Mamat.

Nenek and Naraaaaa.

Haji Ahmad's family, still incomplete though. There's 5 generations in there.

Kak Shida and Aryan Shah.

Them and Afiq Shaukin.

Kak Wati.

Kak Shida and Kak Ipah.

Me and Kak Shida.

Kak Shida, Maklong, Kak Milot.

2nd day for my family to jalan raya, 041008.

A total of 3 to 5 cars went out together, some joined and some left us along the way. Not much houses though, cause we went out quite late, around 3 plus 4pm. But it was still fun, nevertheless, cause I got to wear my glamour baju. HAHAHA. The first Syawal that I got to drive around for my familyyyyy. Hehehe. So there was my Brother's Getz that I'm driving, my Dad's Tucson that my brother drove, my uncle's Nissan/Toyota, I can't remember which, hehe, Kak Wati's Airwave and Abg Is' Toyota/Nissan. Ended the visiting with the last house being my house.

The first house, Kak Debot's place at Admiralty.

Me, Abang, Kak Mich, Mum, Uda, Hafiz.

Uda and I, she LOVESSSSS to tickle me and that was what she did throughout the day. Haha.

Amaciammmm.

Maklang, Nur Syahirah a.k.a Non, Kak Ipah.

2nd house was at somebody's place, I can't remember who, at Marsiling/Woodlands.

3rd house was Kak Milot's place at Woodlands.

This was taken after I straightened my hair, not much difference actually.

Kak Zai and my ever so vogue mum.

Abang, Kak Dayah, Afiq Shaukin and Muhd Andry Hyder.

Pose tetap poseeeee.

4th house was at my mum's cousins' place, I think, can't remember where. Haha.

To Pakngah's house next, at Tampines.

Malam2 pon nak feeling dengan shades.

Last stop, my house, semua dah lepak.

Raya visiting to Kak Norli's place, 051008.

We only went to one house and my mum still wanted me to wear Baju Kurung. Hahaha, but okay lah, raya kannnnnn.

Mohd Izzan Dani.

I'll upload photos from DIEM-mates raya outing when I get hold of all of them okay, that was definitely the best outing I've had so far. At least we still got to get together after being in the same course for 3 years, the bond is there I must say. Drove for more 10 hours and it was madness inside both cars. Ahhh, I'll update more about it with the photos.
Still waiting for raya outing with Patricks, La Familia and Clannies.

IDP is on this weekend and I really wanna have another visit, this time with my Dad. I need to get more details about it, so that I can plan the next phase of my life. I hope it'll really happen, and if it does, that means I'll be leaving quite a few people that I care about so much over here. Well, I don't wanna say much yet but yes I'm really hoping that will be another chapter in my life waiting for me to uncover.

And oh, thanks eh to Asri for bringing me back to my Indon songs craze. Hahaha. Go listen to Dik by Waliband, as well as Menyesal by Ressa Herlambang and Kesepian by Dygta. These are the few that I'm currently crazy about. Hehhh.

2008-10-11T00:34:00.008+08:00

Photos from kuih making session with Asri at my place as well Iftar session with CCC feat Naz at Ju's place the next day.

Fire sparklers love at my carpark, 230908.

CCC feat Naz Iftar session at Ju's place, 240908.

I love each and every one of them, and I'm glad we have each other, including Shanana too, who wasn't able to make it that day.

And them girls, I love and treasure.

Yeayyyy fire sparklers galoreeee.

No doubt I've been spending a lot of time with my CCC clan as of late, and they've been nothing but dear and I'm glad for their presence in my life. Each one of them have enlightened me in their own ways and I love each one of them for their own speciality. There's not a need for me to mention what it is but yeah it's enough for me to know.

To my Nara'sdaddy/abah Asri, to my Mama Yannah, to my BiLy straight partner Razan, to my Alter Ego Ash, to my forever Emo Naz, to my Sexy Ju and of course to my ever trustworthy Shanana, aku sayang korang and each one of you are special to me and I hold all of you close and dear to me.

Speaking of people who are dear, I miss La Familia and Patricks.

2008-10-10T14:50:00.004+08:00

Raya outing with the DIEM-mates was no doubt super fantastic, and I'm glad we all had great fun and I'm really glad to see all of us get this close, after 3 years. Haha. Photos up after I get from all the different cameras.

I know I've yet to upload some iftar photos as well as some raya photos. Soon lah okay. Hahahaha.
Lebaran have been great, Alhamdulillah.

Oh yah, I think I've been a bad streak of luck when it comes to cars as of late. Urgh.

I wanna just be studying till I grow old and not start work, so that I don't have to give duit Raya. Haha.

I hope the raya outing with La Familia will happen, as well as with Patricks and Clanniesssssss.

And oh,
Happy 26th Birthday to my one and only brother, Azhar Majid.

To the greatest brother he has been,

To the individual I respect the most,

To the one who has done an extremely fantastic job in taking care of my mum and me,

To the one who has simply been the best.

Happy 26th dear brother.

I'm really glad I have you as my brother, and thank you for EVERYTHING that you have done for me as well as for the family

I love you, the elder hald of the MajidandFaridah duo.

2008-10-02T00:52:00.003+08:00

So 1 month of Ramadhan has past and Syawal has just started. To all Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya and maaf zahir dan batin. Forgive me if I've ever offended you with my words or actions, intentionally or not, whether I know it or not, I sincerely apologise.

Geylang on the last day of Ramadhan was madness, especially in the wee hours. It was really crowded and it didn't help that it was raining at the same time. The traffic was bad too, obviously and we went there just for some food, capal and getting our henna done. Before Geylang was a whole day of cleaning the house, getting it prepared for Raya and I think I can't remember when was the last time the house was cleaned in that way. Haha. Anyway, I'm loving the curtains in my room and I'm loving my room, but only at night. Hahaha.

Raya this year is different from last year, and it's better in almost every sense. Last Syawal my grandmother was still sick and she couldn't move or talk or eat but a year later, she's started to walk and she can eat and she can make conversation with people, even if her words are unclear but it's way better than how she was last year. Raya this year is also more ''meriah'' for my family because of the presence of my aunt's family in my house. I'm really glad that things turned out well and that there wasn't any feud or awkwardness when my aunt's family moved into my house. I'm really glad too that things between both families have been going great and that we all can get along so well. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

First day of Raya was spent over at gram's house, as usual. My grams didn't sleep the whole night yesterday and when we saw her today, she seemed kinda stoned and high. =/ She kept on talking and talking and talking and didn't want to sleep, what more when she saw there were so many people at her house. I don't know if she understood that today was Raya but somehow I guess she did and she didn't wanna sleep cause she wanted to see everyone that came.

She seemed different too today, with the things that she talked about and hmm yeahhhh. But I hope it's nothing much, I hope it's just her being extremely sleepy and zoned out.

Anywayyyyy.....

011008

Happy 20th Birthday to my one and only Betz. I'm sorry this post is a day late ehhhh. He got to celebrate his birthday with the first day of Syawal, best pe. Anyway, he's all grown up now, okay not so but yeah at least more matured I hope. And I sincerely wish the best for you, in every single aspect of your life, especially right now when you're going through army life. I pray things will go well for you and that you'll be able to cope in there. I know you've heard me say the same things over and over again so yeah I won't say much.

I love you Shahrain Bin Sardon and thank you for being the greatest betz. I can't thank you enough for all that you've done.

And I still miss you okayyyy.

I can't wait to meet you, we so need to meet up soon okay.

021008

Happy 19th Birthday to my one and only Tekzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. TEPEK LOVESSSS. Hahaha.

She's a fine lady now and I'm really glad she got to spend Syawal as well as her birthday with a special someone this year cause I know that will make this year more memorable for her. I love you babe and you've placed yourself as one of the special people that I hold dear.

Have fun celebrating your birthday this year and may you be showered with blessings. SAYANG KAU TEKZZZZ. And I miss you toooooo.

There's school and UT tomorrow but I won't be coming for class tomorrow just because. Why oh why must there be school on the second day of Rayaaaaaa. I'll just come for UT but it's still such a hassle. Boringggggg.

2008-09-25T02:29:00.002+08:00

Yeayyyyy my hair has a new look and I'm totally loving it. New look for Rayaaaaaaaa. I swear I'm so excited for Raya this year, 6 more dayssssssssssssss. Hehehe. I can't wait to wear my Baju Rayaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

On another note, I'm missing my Betz, so much, too much. Shahrain Bin Sardon, sumpah eh aku tak sabar nak jumpa kau. You have no ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I had tremendous fun with CCC feat Naz during our Iftar session @ Ju's place earlier on. Gotta say thank you so much to Ju's family for their hospitality during our stay there. Fire sparklers with love lahhhhhhh. Photos later on okay, as usual lah yer.

Wish me luck for my SIAEC bursary interview later on in the afternoon. I'm gonna need it, no kidding. And let's hope I won't get lost finding my way to their building.

2008-09-21T14:56:00.025+08:00

Image-filled entry, enjoy.

Iftar session with Clannies, 190908

Sorry for the quality of the photos, taken with Dilalala's phonecam hehe. And I didn't bother to edit them also. We need more meet ups okay babessssss.

Webcam sessionnnnnnn.

Courtesy of Eeq's new Dell laptop webcam. Yeay to more webcam sessions in the future, since she's in the same class as me. Better start coming to class more frequently okay Eeqs. Haha.

La Familia Iftar session, 120908

And I'm missing this boy so much lah. My nights are still boring and lonely without our nightly conversations.

CCC feat Rain and Naz Iftar Session, 110908

Patricks Iftar Session, 080908

2008-09-20T00:41:00.003+08:00

Weekly updates.

Broke fast with Dad, Bro and Kak Mich at The Naked Fish Shoppe @ Grassroots Club at Amk on Monday. Finally I've tried the food over there, but was rather disappointing though. I'll still choose Fish n Co or Manhattan Fish Market anytime.

Broke fast at home from Tuesday to Thursday. With my grams and aunt over at my house, the house gets more merrier. And my other aunt and uncle also came over almost everday to break fast, dah macam kenduri lah hari-hari. Haha.
Slept over my aunt's house at Woodlands on Wednesday and Thursday cause I have school the next day and I'm so lazy to wake up early. So the routine was, broke fast at home, after they finished with terawih, got ready and I went back to Woodlands with my aunt.
If only I could leave the house every single day at 8am, kan best tu.

Broke fast with Clannies plus Ms Bones at Madjack at Simpang Bedok. Woah, the last time Clannies met was for last year's break fast at Fish and Co. That's long man. Too bad Ms Bones had to go off earlier for her dance prac, we must make sure after the 27th we'll get to meet up again okay. Afterwards Dila, Pard and me went to some void deck near TM and Dee, Fiffy and her bro dropped by for a while, like really for a such while. Sungguh unsatisfying okay. Haha.
But I'm glad got to catch up with each other's lives, and meetups like this should really be done more often. I want photos from both Pardy.flyer and Dilalala long live bukit okay.

Plans for the weekends will revolve around family, as usual. But hopefully I'll be able to fulfill some stuffs I need to do as well.

I'm still in the process of editting photos from the various iftar outings from last week, bear with me yeah. Hehe.

The very rare times when I really need someone by my side,
that's when I realise sometimes I only have myself.
That's when I realise others are just not there.
Gotta be on your own, uh huh.

2008-09-14T21:03:00.003+08:00

What have I been doing over the past week:

Iftar with Patricks at Banquet @ Eastpoint. Chilled at some void deck afterwards and updating each other about our lives. All of us took bus service 38 to Tanah Merah MRT where Atiqah met her boyfriend and Saiful took the train back. I topped up my ez-link card and went with Syidah and Firah and we went back afterwards. We should really have another iftar session, one was definitely not enough lah.

Last minute and unplanned break fast session at Woodlands with Ash and with Asri joining us later. Bought food from the bazaar at Woodlands interchange and went to sit at some random block. Talked about stuffs, mostly Cambodia. Obviously we're still not over the Cambo mood. Hahaha. Asri came a while after buka and he ended up sleeping cause he was tired from the polyforum. Ash went off earlier to meet someone and it was left with Asri and me. Luckily he didn't continue sleeping, if not I would have definitely smacked him to wake him up. We changed location and started to listen to songs in my iPod. From dikir to jiwang to RnB to raya songs. We can't wait for raya lah. We were imagining different scenes, like Razan and Ju singing and dancing to the raya songs, with us in the background as backup singers/dancers, and having all of us do the typical raya music video, with all of us salam-ing each other, konon-konon nak minta maaf lah tu. Okay now I'm really looking forward to raya this year, since now I have an additional group of friends to celebrate it with, CCC. Heeee.

On Wednesday I had FYP meeting for awhile and then went home to break fast.

Thursday was CCC feat Naz and Rain iftar session at Tong Seng. Asri didn't join us for break fast cause of polyforum, only met us later at Al-Majlis after some of them have left. Hahaha, kental. It was some form of a farewell gathering for Rain lah. Sheesha session afterwards and we sat at this place opposite Al-Majlis, and it was my first time at that place. Nice lightings but should have added music too lah. Razan, Sha and Yannah went off first and Asri came about 20 minutes after that. Ash and Naz went off at about 10 and it was left with Asri, Rain and me, again. Hahaha.

La Familia had their iftar session at Popeye's @ Changi Airport Terminal 3. But before that, we fetched Rain from Woodlands Interchange after school and brought them to Yishun dam. Camwhored quite a bit, and we took like 200plus over there. Mahu pe korang. Sayang lah Sonok couldn't make it, kalau tak dah complete. Over at Popeye's, the plan to surprise Heira with a cupcake backfired cause she saw Phat and Eeqs while they were lighting the candle. AHHAHAHAHA. Tu kekek eh. But okay lah, hope Heira liked that small gift. Hopefully I'm able to get her a gift soon, one that she really deserves. Happy Belated 19th Birthday Nursyahira Nensuri. So sorry that I had to go off just like that, without a proper goodbye. And that Friday was the last day we got to spend time with Rain, the last time I got to chill with him and have a heart-to-heart conversation at some void deck at Tampines.

Broke fast at Secret Recipe @ Square 2, Novena with Mum, Bro, Kak Mich and Kak Ipah. Went to Geylang afterwards and met with Maklang and Kak Norli and family. Walked around for a bit cause Kak Norli wanted to find baju for her sons. Geylang was still okay, not as crowded as it can be, it wasn't at its worst lah. Didn't manage to complete the whole of Geylang and I still wanna give Geylang another visit, belom puas ah. And my family didn't buy anything, except for this geharu thingy which we'll sprinkle over charcoal and then the smell will just go up. The Dengdeng was fab, though. And and we saw a ''kakak'' over there, she was disturbed by some mats and she like wanted to walk over to them and they somehow got scared. Bodoh betol, dah nak kacau tapi takot. Haha.

Kak Norli's family broke fast at my house today but they didn't stay that long. I went down after buka to try save a cat because we heard it mewing from yesterday night and it didn't really stop. But when we went down, we couldn't locate the cat but I think it was at some drain and couldn't get out. We didn't manage to find the cat and as I'm typing this, I can still hear the cat mewing for help. Pitiful lah. I'm currently waiting for my grams and aunt to come over. They're gonna be sleeping here for a few days. Yeayyyy I miss my grams.

So that's roughly my update for this past week. I have photos from the various outings waiting to be editted and uploaded, will do that soon hopefully.

And I'm glad cause I got to see and break fast with all my closest groups of friends this past week. And hopefully the date with Clannies next Friday will still happen.

Tomorrow's the day, the big day. I don't know what to feel. I don't wanna feel too sad cause I don't wanna be miserable, but then I know I can't help myself. Hopefully I'll be able to go through this, I still have great friends around me. Just that it's gonna be different this time round without the nightly phone calls, random sms-es sent and received, regular updates, without having anyone to share stuffs with and just know me almost inside out and no one for me to manja with and talk crap with. I need to be independent. No more depending on Rain. I'm gonna miss him and I truly wish that he's gonna go through this without much difficulty. Hopefully he'll be able to adapt and find great people inside. Hopefully it's gonna be an experience that he'll remember.

Aku sayaaaaaaaang kau Betz, and aku akan rindu kau gile nye gile okay. Baby rindu baby laaaaa. Hahaha.

And next week's gonna be tough cause Rain's gonna be in camp and Asri's gonna be busy with polyforum, and what more it's gonna be residential for 4 days. Mendak or whattttttttttttt. Now what am I supposed to do. I won't be surprised if I get too bored, I'll just go to sleep. Boringggggggggggggggggg.

2008-09-07T15:52:00.016+08:00

Another image filled post.
Updates on outings before/after Cambodia Trip.

020908.
Met up with Rain to catch 12 Lotus and 4bia. We watched 2 movies back to back, literally, without much break in between both movies. Both movies were good, no doubt. And there's a lot of upcoming movies that I wanna watch, let's hope I'm able to catch them all.

Met up with Asri after the movies and we break fast at Manhattan Fish Market. The food were GOOD, no kidding. I'm craving for the garlic butter sauce, again.
After which, we headed to Al-Majlis for their much missed housemix sheesha. A pretty good catching up session I must say. A well deserved one.
Rain and I brought our Rian and Nara respectively. They have missed each other terrible too. And Rian found himself a new uncle, or was it daddy eh?
Anyways, it was a great day spend with two of my best boys. :)

Nara's daddies. :)

DaddyBetz got Nara a new tshirt. So bloody nice can, and it was so me and so Nara. Thank you DaddyBetz. We RUV you!

With my two babies.

Rian and his Daddy.

The daddies and their babies.

SUPER SWEET LAHHHHHH.

130808.

Outing with E65K and Clive to NUSS Guild House for a karaoke session. Clive even brought his daughter along lah, so cute. And the place was really beautiful, something that we've never ever seen at Suntec, well of course since it's exclusively for members only. Much thanks to Clive for bringing us out and introducing this place to us.

Afterwards, a bunch of us headed to MOS where we met some other DIEM-ers plus Rain and Sally. It was quite a crazy night I must say. Fun party people plus some other incidents. And it was like a mini gathering of sorts for some of the DIEM people. People like Nison, Sam, Jess, Melvin, Kai Ming, Xiu Hui, Kok Chye and Naz were there. I think there were some others that I missed out, hehh sorry.

120808.
RAP outing after the last day of school. Drove to school on that day and I still remember the 2nd breakout incident. Went to Sim Lim and we got back to class quite late which resulted in our faci being quite pissed with us. Hehe.

Anyway, after school I proceeded to Sim Lim again to collect my adaptor and met Phat over there since she didn't come to school. Made our way to PS BABW and met Rain. That was the day our babies were born. HEHEHEHEHHEH. I think we spent close to 2 hours inside choosing and stuffs. And I wanna say thank you again to Betz for giving life to our little ones.
We headed to Al-Majlis for our much missed RAP sheesha session.
Great day with two of my best people.

Yeah I drove her around in my lap for awhile. Hahaha.

Things have been great so far. Classes have been okay, seeing that it's only been 2 days of class so far. But hopefully this semester will be one to remember, since it is my last semester in RP. Gosh, how time really flies. There's so many things I'm looking forward to in the short and long run. And of course I'm hoping that all that I'm looking forward to will really happen.

2008-09-04T00:28:00.058+08:00

New York City Trip Photos, 240708 - 310708

MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR IMAGE HEAVY ENTRY. Close to 280 photos up ahead. Be prepared for the loading aye. Hehh.

Those who sent my family off at the airport.

Ash, Shanana and Sarah also came to send me off. Thanks guys.

Transit at Frankfurt Airport.

I love this photo. No major editting done, the skies were naturally of that colour.

Yeah, the time we're at JFK. Waiting for the cab to go to our apartment.

The bedroom, duh. The bed was mum's and mine for the length of our stay. Hehe.

The time I woke up on the second day. On the first day, I slept for more than 20 hours after checking in. So the first day was practically wasted due to my sleeping. Hahaha.

The roadside pretzels, and they were DAMN salty lah.

On the hop-on hop-off bus we took.

Yeah, that's the bus.

First shot of Times Square, don't worry, you're gonna see lots more. Haha.

Glimpse of Empire State Building.

I LOVE OLD NAVY.

The biggest Macy's store.

Thise whole area reminded me of our own CBD area.

The United Nation building.

And I think this was the Trump World Tower.

Broadway y'all.

With NYC's finest.

This kebab was the bomb, no kidding.

Our apartment was on that street.

Horse ride that brings you around Central Park, but such a pity I didn't have time for CP.

Hell's Kitchen Flea Market, which was quite disappointing.

Uh huh, in the store that we love.

I really liked this tour guide, so cool yaw.

Engine 54.

Yeah, Times Square again.

On the way to Brooklyn on our night tour.

Manhattan's skyline.

With one out of four NYC's waterfall, an art installation.

Statue of Liberty, but we never got up close and personal with it. Just a boat ride round it.

Had to wake up early cause it was going-to-Niagara-Falls-dayyyyyyy.

Lunch stopover.

Corning Glass Factory, but we didn't go inside, just browsed through the shop.

Pretty stuffs.

This is it, one of the seven wonders of the world.

Maid of the Mist boat ride. It brings you near the American Falls and the Horseshoe Falls.

We had dinner over here, the food was....just okay.

The falls at night.

Waiting in line to go for the Cave of the Winds tour.

Yeah, we all got really wet, especially me. Hahaha.

The MnM store.

The Kebab stall where we bought our food almost everyday.

I love me flowery shuttershades.

Last dayyyy.

That thing is filled with MnMs.

HAHA.

Our ride back to JFK. If only they had these in SG.

Farewell sunset.

Transit at Frankfurt Airport. That's our plane back there.

On Singapore lands, safe and sound.

Finally, finally I'm done with this post. One huge burden off. And next up will be my Cambo trip photos. Gosh, 2600plus photos eh. Good luck ah Aisha.

New York was amazing, the city itself holds so much. The people, the culture, the lifestyle, the shopping, the madness, the streets, the sirens, the ''it's just a few blocks away'', the I LOVE NY, the famous names, the homes to celebrities, the city that never sleeps.

I would really love to give NYC another visit.

2008-08-31T14:57:00.002+08:00

I'm back from the Kingdom of Cambodia, on Thursday actually. It was a trip to be remembered, in every sense. No doubt I wouldn't mind going through it all over again with the same group of people. I truly miss the times spent over there. Strangely, I didn't really miss Singapore, just that I missed my family and some friends. I didn't even mind if we had to stay longer over there. I guess that's the good part of being single, so that I don't have to miss and long for someone so much till I want to go back to Singapore for that person.

The experience was definitely worthwhile, the ups and downs. The open house and the roadshow, the fashion show, the nights of fun, Sihanouk ville, sunset by the beach, Angkor Wat, Phnom Penh, Pub Street... These are just snippets of the times we had over there, cause I know we'll all keep all that has happened, all that we went through, in our memories, where it'll be etched forever.

I'm still in the midst of editting my New York photos, so yeah bear with me okay. And don't ask me when I'll put up photos of Cambodia, I have over 2600 photos to choose and edit.

So tomorrow will be the start of Ramadhan. I hope this holy month will bring all things good and hopefully I'll be able to go through this month without much difficulties.

School will officially start on Thursday for me. I'll be having 3 school days each week, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. But I wonder how the continuation of my FYP2 will be like. I hope my team is gonna be able to pull through it. Anyway, GPA's out. It's still there but I know I can improve, I must pull up my socks for this next semester.

Shit. My 'shift' button is spoilt, both of them. I really have no idea how it became like that. It's really irritating eh.

2008-08-21T12:32:00.002+08:00

Cybercafe @ Siem Reap, Cambodia.

It's our 5th Day. Gosh, time does past very fast. So far everything has been going fine, of course with the ups and downs that are bound to happen. The whole team has become closer than the first day and all of us are working closely with one another, that's something comforting to know.
Food here is great, no kidding. The groundhandler have been taking real good care of us, bringing us to wherever we want, granting whatever requests we have, cooking the greatest food, not minding us staying at their house and making a mess out of it (sometimes). We owe them a lot. (:
Shopping here is even greater. And oh, where in Singapore can you go to a club with tshirts, short and flipflops, with something that you might wear for sleep? Yeah, we did that here. HAHAHAH.

I'm looking forward to the roadshow, the fashion show and the industry event. Can't wait for Saturday when everything will be over. And after that, we're just gonna do our best to be tourists here, oh that won't be a problem for us. HEHEHE.

I'm really liking it here. The simplicity of life, the humbleness of the community, the smiles you get from everywhere. Makes me realise we Singaporeans are one bunch of arrogants. I know all of us will definitely be taking back lost of lessons once we come back.
I don't mind extending my stay here if possible.

I'm glad that I am not homesick yet, I'm glad I've been able to keep my mind on the trip, on FYP, on having fun. At least I know the trip will not be something that I dread cause of being homesick.

I hope the next 7 days will go well.

2008-08-17T02:04:00.002+08:00

Okay no so I won't be able update on my NY trip because I didn't have time to finish editting today. I'm stuck at 80plus photos. -_-

Today was a busy, busy day. I didn't expect myself to be out of the house at all but yeah I wasn't at home most of the time. I got up, rolled in my bed for quite some time, went online for awhile, showered, get ready to go to SGH, accompanied my mum to SGH A&E cause of her eye infection, yeah mother and daughter almost the same, I know, was inside the A&E for about 3 hours plus, went back after that, reached home at 9plus. Firah came to my house at about 10pm, then went out to fetch Rain at IKEA to take my thumbdrive back.
Initial plan was to fetch Rain from IKEA and send him to Tanah Merah MRT station since Firah lives near there but plans changed and we went to Siglap to eat (since they offered to pay for petrol, hehe! Thank you koranggggg), and then sent Firah home and I sent Rain home (okay lah since he paid for the extra petrol kan, I don't mind), and spent back driving to Tampines alone.

And Rain, I swear when Corazon came on just now, the timing was too perfect and too biadab at the same time. And today when that happened, I couldn't hide and pretend that I was all happy and sang loudly to the song cause I just couldn't hide my emotions from I don't know when. Even Firah could see how down and unprepared for this trip, or rather, for this period of time ahead. Sigh. I don't know how many times I sighed during the period of time I was out with them.

It was nice finally being able to meet Firah, even if it wasn't for long. I miss her, and Atiqah, and Rasyidah so much.

And Betz, THAT was our final car ride together. :(
Okay at least we got to meet a few hours before I go, on the day I'm flying off, not bad lah tu. (:
SAYANG KAU SIAK!

And thanks for leaving a part of you behind with me eh, hahaha.
And now I smell of Slate. (:

And oh I'm gonna miss my laptop lahhhh!
And my mum. :(
She's not gonna send me off. Be prepared, in about 40 minutes time, I'm gonna have swollen eyes. SIGHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm gonna miss my brother and Kak Mich too. Even though they may not know it cause I don't show it, the respect I have for them surpasses all. I love them.
And my Dad, he's been the best dad he could ever be to me. I'm gonna miss him, and Alice too. I'm gonna miss going dinner with them.

And Siti Fatimah Bte Ibrahim, please know I'm gonna miss you goddamn much, especially because we haven't been able to spend that much time together as of late. Do know you'll always be remembered in my heart always. Let's hope time will be nicer to us and that things will get back to its normal pace, not as hectic as now. I'm sorry if ever I've made you feel neglected, never in my life would I wanna do that. Let's hope the freaking long wait for KB day will be more than worth it.
I love you my baby girl. (:
Take care of yourself, I know you can do it.

And to my La Famila babes, I'm gonna miss you girls so much too. We haven't really been spending time together aye. Yeah time is always a factor right now for me. Well let's hope we'll be able to spend more time when I get back okay. I love each and every single one of you. Aten, Eeqs, Heira and Sonok. SAYANG KORANG!

And to the rest of the people that I'm gonna miss (READ: Naz, Ally, Xiu Hui, all the other E65K peeps, my FYP 1 Team, Jess and the whole group of DIEM mates), let's all go party together one day again kay! This time make sure ALL of us get to have fun.

OMG I'M GONNA MISS THIS TINY ISLAND THAT I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF LAH!
-_-

2008-08-16T03:03:00.013+08:00

I'm currently editing my New York photos. I've only edited bout 60 plus so far, around 1 and a half day's worth of photos. So yeah you can do the calculation, I have about 4 days worth of photos left to edit. I don't know if I'm able to do an update on my NY trip before I fly off, cause I predict that it's gonna be a long day later on. Maybe I can update it when I'm waiting to go to the airport, since I doubt I'm gonna be sleeping first.

I went to my Grams house just now for a short visit. It could have been longer if I wasn't locked outside my own room. -_- So yeah some complications for a while, due to the wind being so strong to slam my door shut and somehow it was locked from the inside. Had to call a locksmith to get it fixed, another 50 bucks burnt just like that.

I went to the doctor as well, to get my medication for my back. I have a feeling it might act up during my trip there.

The Betz got their final car ride just now. I think that was gonna be the last one before many many months.

Tonight was definitely an emotional ride, and I just had to hide it by singing my hearts out to the songs on my iPod. Especially when Corazon was on, Betz song okay! (:

I'm gonna miss my betz, my Daddy P, my DaddyBetz to my Nara so much. No it's not just because of the 12 days in Cambodia. But the month ahead is gonna past by so fast and before we know it, it's already September 15th. No way am I prepared for that. No more late night phone calls for me, seeing how he's been the only person I've been talking to almost every night. I need to find someone to take his place, just for the late night calls, cause I'll never have another Betz.

It's time for me to get a boyfriend, at least he'll do the job. At least he'll get my mind off missing Rain. Sigh.

There's just too much memories of Betz.

He's been the closest guy friend I've ever had and we share everything, everything together. No kidding. Every single detail of our lives is not missed. It's only been a year plus since we knew each other, but within that time frame we have become the closest pair of friends. From being Hipp-O and BJ in MascotLoves, to being Betz, to all the other names that we have for each other. I haven't done a tribute to him at all in my blog and I guess it's due time for him to receive one. It's kind of a premature tribute to him before I go Cambodia and before September 15th comes, just in case I can't do one later.

Thank you for every single thing,

Thank you for the late night talks,

Thank you for being the one I've been spending a whole lot of time with,

Thank you for always being my sidekick in almost everything,

Thank you for going through ups and downs together,

Thank you for accepting me for the person that I am, and never ever once tried to change me,

Thank you for sacrificing a whole lot of things,

Thank you for sharing every single bits of your life with me,

Thank you for Leap Years, Ayat-Ayat Cinta, PS: I Love You and all other movies we watched and teared and cried with together,

Thank you for accompanying me to my many hospital visits,

Thank you for always carrying my laptop (or whatever stuffs) whenever I'm lazy,

Thank you for introducing Loco Roco to me and getting me hooked the first time I knew of it,

Thank you for holding one half of the random boy-girl keychan that I gave you,

Thank you for the picnic basket we bought together,

Thank you for the getting to know each other period (remember the first few months we got close, those late night talks, told each other about our past etc?),
Thank you for that one night at Boat Quay by the steps last year,

Thank you for always helping me whenever you can, in every single aspect,

Thank you for giving in to my constant whinings all the time,

Thank you for always being on the same frequency as me,

Thank you for going to Desaru with my family and I,

Thank you for always agreeing to dinner at JB (or wherever else) with my family,

Thank you for coming up with codewords together when blindspots weren't clear (m&m),

Thank you for all the silly nicknames we came up for your many "pasts" (virgo bodoh, kambeng etc),

Thank you for our "you know I know they don't know" moments,
Thank you for the many biadab moments we had,

Thank you for our wajib Starbucks session (let's try to stick to our monthly sessions kay, even when you're off to serve the nation already),
Thank you for being my QAF partner,

Thank you for QAF marathons,
Thank you for being my pelach, my Daddy P and for our pelach night,

Thank you for always supporting me in whatever that I went through,

Thank you for being a part of my life,

Thank you for being my "family",

Thank you for our random serious talks about marriage and cats and trains in front of the Rolex building,

Thank you for always being my "gian nak dance" companion,

Thank you for making "Whine Up" our lagu wajib,

Thank you for that conversation we had last night, when "Soulmate" was playing in both our laptops,

Thank you for MOS on Aug 13th,

Thank you for tolerating with me during my lust and pms weeks,

Thank you for always, always layan-ing me back no matter what,

Thank you for our constant random moments,

Thank you for giving life to my Nara Aqysha,

Thank you for the permanent image I have of Polo Black, which is you lah,

Thank you for our neverending "Betz kau imagine eh" and "Betz, what if eh",

Thank you for being one of the people in my list of "Most Special and I'll-Die-If-They're-Gone People",

Thank you for creating Betz-only memories with me all along,

Thank you for being the best, for being your best,

Thank you for being you and no one else,

and Thank you for all the good times shared, no, for all the good and the bad.

The list can definitely go on and on, and I wish I could remember every single thing we did/shared so that I can list them all but it's impossible, seeing how my memory is failing me. I've been editting that thank you list I don't know how many times.

I love you Shahrain Sardon a.k.a my one and only and there's no other else Betz.

God knows how much your presence in my life means to me and how much your absence is going to affect me and definitely only God knows how much I'm gonna miss you.