A lot of things has happened since the last time I updated. The main highlight gotta be my turning of age. HAH! Finally, 21, the golden age, the age to freedom, the age with the golden key yada yada yada. I mean turning 21 has always been a huge deal for me until I actually turn 21. I realise not much has changed, except for the responsibilities of being an adult I guess? Paying back of school fees to my mum, finding a job, being financially stabled, being matured and wiser but guess what? I've not accomplished any of that, sadly. The celebrations part were the highlight, as usual. The ULEs plus Fahmy had a surprise party for me at one of the hotels, it wasn't a grand hotel but it felt grand to me cause I had the people who mattered the most with me, except for Asri, he couldn't make it. And the thing that really touched me was that, Fahmy and Firah were the ones who went all out with the planning and all. Firah I can understand, she's been my closest friend since Secondary 1. But Fahmy? The one I've known for the shortest period of time as compared to the rest, he put in so much effort for the party and I was really touched. It goes to show we've built quite a strong bond just within the few months of knowing each other. And I must say the gift that Betz gave me did blow me away. 21 small items that reminded me of him and one of my favourite perfumes. That, and a noticeboard with our photos and a hugeass poster of myself to remind myself that I can always be my own start. Thank you Fahmy, thank you Firah, thank you Betz, thank you Yannah, thank you Ajan, thank you Naz, thank you Ari and how I wish Asri and Ash were there as well.

And I must say I've really learnt quite a lot within the past couple of months. With family and friends, I guess no matter how long or how short we've been there for each other, there will always be new things that we'll learn about each other each time. And whether we want to judge them for who they are, what they did or did not, I guess it's not fair cause I believe they have their own reasons, we can't expect them to react or do things the way we would. If everyone were to do the same thing, react the same way, then where's the individuality? 

Having different groups of friends really opens up my eyes to a lot of things. For example, within the ULEs there's already a wide range of personalities due to the number and I love each one of them for who they are. For the "cage buddies", even though there's only like 5 or 6 of us, there's still a stark difference in each of our personalities and characteristics and I'm really thankful that I got the opportunity to be close to them recently, eventhough I've known most of them since secondary school. Whenever there's any issues within the group, for sure there will be contrasting opinions and it's really interesting to observe and think about why people think and act the way they do.

Before this I was living in the "cave", so they say, cause I didn't know about a lot of stuff that has been happening within the bigger group and I really don't regret being in that "cave" cause it makes things a lot easier and I don't have to act or pretend not to know or think about how I should act when I see him, her, them or whoever. But I guess even after knowing things, I'll still be the one hanging in the middle cause I rather not take sides cause I can foresee things can get ugly if I do, if anyone does actually. Being in a group like theirs, one has to know how to communicate with the other, how to still make jokes at each other without offending the other but I guess the most important lesson I've learnt this past few months is really choosing the people you can really trust. I guess in a way I can trust them all but there are just certain things only a few are supposed to know and not the rest.

Having friends like the ULEs and "cage buddies" really showed me the different kinds of friendship one can foster, within yourself and another friend, and the kind of friendship the whole group share. No matter what flaws each one may have, I appreciate and treasure them all, their friendship and their love, and that I don't wanna lose them.

When I move out from this house, in the later part of the year, I know it's gonna be difficult for me to adapt cause here I've got my "cage buddies" whom I can always count on and I know I'm gonna have withdrawal symptoms. Thinking about moving out from here, from this estate can just bring me to tears. This is where, I grew up, for the more important parts of my growing years that is. From a child to a tween to being a teenager. This home holds so much memories, this estate holds even more. The secondary school I went to, the people I've made friends with, the people I've grown to be comfortable with and trust, they're all within reach from my current place, merely a 5 minutes walk. And I haven't lived in other estates but I feel this is one of the best, the most accessible, convenient and safe one.

Ah damn, I shall not think about moving out for now. I shall save that when the day comes nearer.